In many societies, elderly people often live in retirement homes. This is not appropriate because families should always care for their aging memebers.
In the olden days, people were still live in a simpler world where women mostly worked as a fulltime housewives looking after their family. However in today’s world, with an increasing pressure to meet everyday demand, people do not have the ample time to look after their elderly parents. This trend has cause many to send their elderly members to retirement village or in other way, many of the elderly have prefer to leave in retirement village instead with their own children.
Retirement homes or village have long been develop to accommodate an elderly residence who no longer have family members to look after them. In western country, its been a tradition that most of the elderly would spend their remaining life in retirement village, because of the facilities that they offered. Firstly, nursing home provide professional service such as nurses that work 24/7 to meet and looking after their “Activities of Daily Living” which include eating, drinking,exercising etc. Not only that, elderly resident are occupied with different kind of activities such as games which can help stimulate their thinking. In this way, it helps to reduce the possibility of resident from acquiring a serious elderly illness such as dementia. Lastly, retirement village provide the company allowing resident to communicate with each other and not leaving them to feel lonely and bored.
On contrary however, although retirement village provide some benefit for elderly, it is still the responsibility of the adults to look after them. It is an indisputable fact that the best form of care for the elderly depends on the family situation. In contrast, family should work hand-in hand to look after their family members. If they were unable to do so, they should hire a maid to help them look after the elderly but at the same time to constantly provide the emotional and physical support for the members.
In conclusion, despite the advantages that a retirement homes can provide,in my opinion one should not let their family member to leave in retirement homes as this can reduce the bonding between family.
Sentence: This trend has cause many to send their elderly members to retirement village or in other way, many of the elderly have prefer to leave in retirement village instead with their own children.
Description: An adjective is not usually followed by a verb 'to have', uninflected present tense, infinitive or
Suggestion: Refer to elderly and have
Sentence: Firstly, nursing home provide professional service
Sentence: Firstly, nursing home provides professional services
Sentence: Lastly, retirement village provide the company allowing resident to communicate with each other and not leaving them to feel lonely and bored.
Description: The fragment village provide the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace provide with verb, past tense
Sentence: On contrary however, although retirement village provide some benefit for elderly, it is still the responsibility of the adults to look after them.
Description: The fragment village provide some is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace provide with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 348 350
No. of Characters: 1715 1500
No. of Different Words: 182 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.319 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.928 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.475 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 128 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 101 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 47 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.769 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.014 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.769 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.392 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.53 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.172 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5