Benton City residents have adopted healthier lifestyles. A recent survey of city residents shows that the eating habits of city residents conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. During those ten years, l

Essay topics:

Benton City residents have adopted healthier lifestyles. A recent survey of city residents shows that the eating habits of city residents conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. During those ten years, local sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol, have increased fourfold, while sales of sulia, a food rarely eaten by the healthiest residents, have declined dramatically. Because of these positive changes in the eating habits of Benton City residents, we predict that the obesity rate in the city will soon be well below the national average.

The author of the argument claims that the obesity rate in the Benton city will soon be below the national average because of the healthier eating habits of the Benton city residents. To support this claim he cited various evidences. Although this evidences appear to bolster the author's argument, a meticulous analysis will show otherwise. So the author needs to cite the various evidences to make the argument more sound :
Firstly, the author said that the eating habits changed from the last 10 years but he didn't mentioned what were the eating habits at that time. Maybe they used to eat other things that deteriorate their health. So there might be no co-relation between the product author mentioned and the health. The effect of other substances on the health is also not mentioned in the argument. A person doesn't eat only a single thing in his daily routine but a variety of other eatables too. The effect of climatic conditions on the health is also not stated. Weather conditions also doesn't remain same in 10 years, maybe the weather was unfavourable at that time. Weather can also be the reason for their health deterioration at that time.
Secondly, the author claims that good health deterioration now-a-days is due to the four-fold increase in the Kiran substance in the product which ultimately decreases the cholestrol level but the proper data regarding the effect of Kiran or Sulia isn't stated. Their is no proper stastistical data regarding the effect of this product on the health. It is also possible that this effects might be a short term. Depending on the result of the statistics, the author's argument can be bolstered on enervated. Proper valid prrofs are required to bolster this claim. Salubrious health can also be due to the other healthier products that came up in the market like fruits, vegetables that nullify the effects harmful effects and make good health possible.
Last but not least, the author claims that the good health become possible due to the healthy eating habits only but there might be other reasons too like people started exercising daily, lifestyle might be improved, physical work by them increased etc.
In sum, the author needs to provide more specific evidences to show that good health is due to the improvement in the eating habits only or due to the substance named Kiran only. Without these specific evidences, the author's claim that the obesity rate will soon decrease loses it's conviction.

Votes
Average: 1.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 281, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...gh this evidences appear to bolster the authors argument, a meticulous analysis will sh...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 425, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...dences to make the argument more sound : Firstly, the author said that the eating...
^^^
Line 2, column 87, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...s changed from the last 10 years but he didnt mentioned what were the eating habits a...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 391, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...not mentioned in the argument. A person doesnt eat only a single thing in his daily ro...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 572, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...lso not stated. Weather conditions also doesnt remain same in 10 years, maybe the weat...
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Line 3, column 250, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: isn't
... regarding the effect of Kiran or Sulia isnt stated. Their is no proper stastistical...
^^^^
Line 3, column 262, Rule ID: THEIR_IS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'there'?
Suggestion: There
...e effect of Kiran or Sulia isnt stated. Their is no proper stastistical data regardin...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 459, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...ng on the result of the statistics, the authors argument can be bolstered on enervated....
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 254, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ed, physical work by them increased etc. In sum, the author needs to provide more...
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Line 5, column 272, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...that the obesity rate will soon decrease loses its conviction.
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 28.8173652695 101% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 55.5748502994 88% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2047.0 2260.96107784 91% => OK
No of words: 412.0 441.139720559 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.96844660194 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50530610838 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.49375160853 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 186.0 204.123752495 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.45145631068 0.468620217663 96% => OK
syllable_count: 623.7 705.55239521 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.471057884232 0% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 65.9476117839 57.8364921388 114% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.35 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.6 23.324526521 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.35 5.70786347227 59% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.25449101796 190% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0791895947647 0.218282227539 36% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0256448800387 0.0743258471296 35% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0477859193539 0.0701772020484 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0518540768595 0.128457276422 40% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0407958679082 0.0628817314937 65% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.3 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.55 12.5979740519 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.89 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 98.500998004 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.