Essay topics: The following appeared in a memo from New Ventures Consulting to the president of HobCo, Inc., a chain of hobby shops.
"Our team has completed its research on suitable building sites for a new HobCo hobby Shop in the city of Grilldon. We discovered that there are currently no hobby shops in southeastern Grilldon. When our researchers conducted a poll of area residents, 88 percent of those who responded indicated that they would welcome the opening of a hobby shop in southeastern Grilldon. Grilldon is in a region of the nation in which the hobby business has increased by 300 percent during the past decade. In addition, Grilldon has a very large population of retirees, a demographic with ample time to devote to hobbies. We therefore recommend that you choose southeastern Grilldon as the site for your next HobCo Hobby Shop. We predict that a shop in this area will draw a steady stream of enthusiastic new HobCo customers."
New Ventures Consulting is showing the idea that consulting Hobco, a hobby shop will have many customers in Grildon. The reason why they are trying to establish the hobby shop in Grildon is because Grildon has many retirees and 88 percent of respondents are welcomed to have more hobby shop. This argument seems very logically convincing at first reading, but it has some defect of assumption that would affect strength of argument.
The argument should answered the question that if respondents of 88 are the people who are not the retirees, then it will affect the vision of have Hobco in Grildon. It is true that there are large population of retirees, but it is possible that when New Venture Consulting will have poll, they would only have response from the workers, or it could be a response from the northwestern of Grildon. So there should be specific condition that 88 percent of retirees from southeaster of Grildon would respond that they are welcomed to have more hobby shop.
Author shows that the statistics that there are 300 percent increase of foundation of hobby shop in Grildon. So the question need to be answer is Hobco is very competitive company in this region. Even though south western Grildon doesn’t have any hobby shop, people from southeaster will go to other sites to buy their interest. It will have so many competitions. Then, it will cause the deflection of Hobco shop. However, if Hobco has more innovative items than the others, then they will gain more customers.
Argument should answer the question that how many retirees in southeastern Grildon. More people of retiree who live in southeastern, more possibility to have many customers. Grildon has large population of retirees, but argument is only showing the fact and didn’t show that how many retirees in southeastern. If there are large amount of people who are retirees, then argument can have their assumption.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 285, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'polled'.
Suggestion: polled
...t when New Venture Consulting will have poll, they would only have response from the...
^^^^
Line 7, column 335, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'amounts'?
Suggestion: amounts
...ees in southeastern. If there are large amount of people who are retirees, then argume...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 352, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
...rn. If there are large amount of people who are retirees, then argument can have their ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, so, then, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 55.5748502994 63% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1607.0 2260.96107784 71% => OK
No of words: 320.0 441.139720559 73% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.021875 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.22948505376 4.56307096286 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67794631843 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 135.0 204.123752495 66% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.421875 0.468620217663 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 490.5 705.55239521 70% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.471057884232 0% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.0090730357 57.8364921388 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 100.4375 119.503703932 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0 23.324526521 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.8125 5.70786347227 49% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.151294852351 0.218282227539 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0638820116705 0.0743258471296 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0674595574579 0.0701772020484 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.112521568317 0.128457276422 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0646605354625 0.0628817314937 103% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 14.3799401198 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.84 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.59 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 60.0 98.500998004 61% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.