The following appeared in a letter from the owner of the Sunnyside Towers apartment complex to its manager.
"One month ago, all the showerheads in the first three buildings of the Sunnyside Towers complex were modified to restrict maximum water flow to one-third of what it used to be. Although actual readings of water usage before and after the adjustment are not yet available, the change will obviously result in a considerable savings for Sunnyside Corporation, since the corporation must pay for water each month. Except for a few complaints about low water pressure, no problems with showers have been reported since the adjustment. I predict that modifying showerheads to restrict water flow throughout all twelve buildings in the Sunnyside Towers complex will increase our profits even more dramatically."
The letter from the owner of the Sunnyside Towers apertment to its manager states that the modification done in the three out of twelve building in the shower heads have given enough money and facility that conclude that this should be followed throughout the twelve building so that they can increase the profits. But after looking into deep matters, the argument lights upon myriad of flaws and fallicies on which the owner depend and try to pursue us to believe. There is high need for different evidences which might help the owner to bolster his viewpoint.
Firstly, owner talks about the modification done one month prior, so one cannot generalize upon the modification within such a less time span, especially in the series of twelve building. There is a need to depend upon this alteration only before appling it to whole complex. As the time passes the flauts can be seen and pointed out which can turn to be positive in the further establishment of this for entire complex of Sunnyside Towers.
As the letter points and easily overlook upon the element is- the actual reading of water usage before and after the adjustment are not available. This inherently weakens the argument. There is no question in making any decision if the comparision between the earlier and later adjustment cannot be done. What if the system have no effect no the previous one? How could then owner decided or states that considerable saving for Sunnyside Corporation was meeted? On what basis this was interpreted? Is their any strong proof for the savings? Before going ahead the owner must take all these questions seriously and must ponder upon them to make the argument more saffice and cogent.
Furthermore, there are few complaints about the low pressure. So considering the adjustment in only three building this is the scenario, the we can imagine the number of complaints might increase, when same is recapitulated for entire complex. The owner should not take these complaints lightly as they can prove detrimental if the same drawback or problem expands and can creat havoc in the total pipe line.
At the end, I highly recommend the owner of the Suunyside Tower to make the necessary changes so that either the argument can be made sufficient in its approval or else the changes can be beneficial from the longer point of view. But this argument in its place is not at all acceptable and in all a great failure.
What if the system have no effect no the previous one?
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
the we can imagine the number of complaints might increase
then we can imagine the number of complaints might increase
Sentence: The letter from the owner of the Sunnyside Towers apertment to its manager states that the modification done in the three out of twelve building in the shower heads have given enough money and facility that conclude that this should be followed throughout the twelve building so that they can increase the profits.
Error: apertment Suggestion: apartment
Sentence: But after looking into deep matters, the argument lights upon myriad of flaws and fallicies on which the owner depend and try to pursue us to believe.
Error: fallicies Suggestion: fallacies
Sentence: There is a need to depend upon this alteration only before appling it to whole complex.
Error: appling Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: As the time passes the flauts can be seen and pointed out which can turn to be positive in the further establishment of this for entire complex of Sunnyside Towers.
Error: flauts Suggestion: flats
Sentence: There is no question in making any decision if the comparision between the earlier and later adjustment cannot be done.
Error: comparision Suggestion: comparison
Sentence: How could then owner decided or states that considerable saving for Sunnyside Corporation was meeted?
Error: meeted Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Before going ahead the owner must take all these questions seriously and must ponder upon them to make the argument more saffice and cogent.
Error: saffice Suggestion: suffice
Sentence: The owner should not take these complaints lightly as they can prove detrimental if the same drawback or problem expands and can creat havoc in the total pipe line.
Error: creat Suggestion: No alternate word
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 412 350
No. of Characters: 1968 1500
No. of Different Words: 217 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.505 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.777 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.492 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 135 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 91 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 63 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.684 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.148 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.579 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.28 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.501 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.072 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5