The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham
College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will
double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate.
Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years.
Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford offcampus
housing. Finally,
attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at
Buckingham."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the
argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The argument rests on many unwarranted assumptions which require more evidences and collective information to back them up. A detailed analysis of the data presented thus far, only weakens the argument.
It is mentioned that the Buckingham enrolment, based on current trends , will double over the next 50 years. More evidence has to be presented , to justify what data exactly prompts to make such a judgement. 50 years down the line , is a very long time- its almost a gap of 5 generations. The way the world is evolving so fast, it may happen that the way education is imparted, may totally change or may be there comes up a new college which provides another educational option for the Buckingham college. So, more evidence and reasoning is needed to come up with a thesis like this, that the enrolment will double in 50 years time. More structured and organised data suggesting the same, would have strengthened the argument.
Another thesis presented which seems to have inadequate data, is that the average rent for the apartment in the town has risen in recent years, this statement doesn’t necessarily imply that the students looking for off-campus housing will find it difficult to afford the same. This is because, no information is given about the trends of the rents for the apartments, normally off-campus students go far. Maybe, the higher class and sophisticated apartments rent has gone up and thereby increasing the averages and, the rent for the normal houses, of say middle class standards, has had no apparent increase in rent. Now, a college going student looking for affordable housing is more likelier to go for a middle class apartment than a high class one. So, channelized data , giving figures about the rents of apartments in the town, which the students are likelier to choose for housing, would have helped substantiate the Director’s argument.
Another fallacious assumption made by the Director of student housing is – New dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham – this is a very absurd statement because, it is primarily the quality of education that makes one choose a college and the quality of accommodation would come at very later stage of influencing a student’s decision of getting enrolled at a college. A student, if impressed by the quality of education imparted by Buckingham, is not happy with the dormitory may find an accommodation outside the college or may adjust to the existing accommodation available. Thus, a dormitory getting students enrolled is a very distinct possibility.
Thus, many points made in the Director’s letter lack plausible data and evidences. More detailed and specific information could have bolstered the argument.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 71, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ngham enrolment, based on current trends , will double over the next 50 years. Mor...
^^
Line 2, column 142, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...years. More evidence has to be presented , to justify what data exactly prompts to...
^^
Line 2, column 230, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...such a judgement. 50 years down the line , is a very long time- its almost a gap o...
^^
Line 2, column 254, Rule ID: IT_IS[6]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: it's; it is
...rs down the line , is a very long time- its almost a gap of 5 generations. The way ...
^^^
Line 3, column 15, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rengthened the argument. Another thesis presented which seems to have inadequate...
^^
Line 3, column 128, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... for the apartment in the town has risen in recent years, this statement doesn&ap...
^^
Line 3, column 687, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'likelier' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: likelier
...udent looking for affordable housing is more likelier to go for a middle class apartment than...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 779, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...n a high class one. So, channelized data , giving figures about the rents of apart...
^^
Line 4, column 474, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...sed by the quality of education imparted by Buckingham, is not happy with the dor...
^^
Line 4, column 532, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[1]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'accommodation'.
Suggestion: accommodation
...s not happy with the dormitory may find an accommodation outside the college or may adjust to t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 548, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... the dormitory may find an accommodation outside the college or may adjust to the...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
if, look, may, so, then, thus, as to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 55.5748502994 90% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 16.3942115768 146% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2309.0 2260.96107784 102% => OK
No of words: 446.0 441.139720559 101% => OK
Chars per words: 5.17713004484 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.5955099915 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.97682323009 2.78398813304 107% => OK
Unique words: 224.0 204.123752495 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.502242152466 0.468620217663 107% => OK
syllable_count: 733.5 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.471057884232 0% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 87.5965957115 57.8364921388 151% => OK
Chars per sentence: 128.277777778 119.503703932 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.7777777778 23.324526521 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.0 5.70786347227 35% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.25449101796 209% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.178622948605 0.218282227539 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0511716928956 0.0743258471296 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0552922866814 0.0701772020484 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0872438288577 0.128457276422 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0672586006746 0.0628817314937 107% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.4 14.3799401198 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.06 12.5979740519 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.69 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 98.500998004 111% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.