The following appeared in a memo from New Ventures Consulting to the president of HobCo, Inc., a chain of hobby shops."Our team has completed its research on suitable building sites for a new HobCo hobby Shop in the city of Grilldon. We discovered that th

Essay topics:

The following appeared in a memo from New Ventures Consulting to the president of HobCo, Inc., a chain of hobby shops.
"Our team has completed its research on suitable building sites for a new HobCo hobby Shop in the city of Grilldon. We discovered that there are currently no hobby shops in southeastern Grilldon. When our researchers conducted a poll of area residents, 88 percent of those who responded indicated that they would welcome the opening of a hobby shop in southeastern Grilldon. Grilldon is in a region of the nation in which the hobby business has increased by 300 percent during the past decade. In addition, Grilldon has a very large population of retirees, a demographic with ample time to devote to hobbies. We therefore recommend that you choose southeastern Grilldon as the site for your next HobCo Hobby Shop. We predict that a shop in this area will draw a steady stream of enthusiastic new HobCo customers."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

In the memo provided by New Ventures Consulting to the president of HobCo Inc., the author has argued if a Hobby Shop is opened in southeastern Grildon then it will have a steady stream of enthusiastic new HobCo customers. The conclusion is based on three arguments, which fails to properly support this claim.

The author cites the results from a poll in which 88% of the participants responded that they would welcome the opening of a hoppy shop in southeastern Grilldon. With no details on how the poll was conducted and what types of questions were asked in the poll, it would be fallacious to assume that opening the hobby shop in southeastern Grilldon will be successful. Also, since the consulting company suggests that the shop should be opened in southeastern Grilldon, it is important to know the places where the poll responders stay. It might be possible that the people who responded in favor of opening the hobby shop do not reside in southeastern Grilldon – under such a circumstance would they be unwilling to travel across town to visit a hobby shop? It is likely that a hobby shop exists near their home and people may not visit the new shop. In that case the company will not get the desired results.

The consulting company then supported the claim by indicating a 300% increase in the hobby business in Grilldon during the past decade. However, it did not provide any proof to support this claim. From where did the company get this data? Also, how much does a 300% increase amount to in numbers? Is there a hobby shop in Grilldon which can cater successfully to the requirements of those who indulge in various hobbies? If so, then are people willing to visit a new hobby shop? Unless these points are clarified, there is no guarantee that HobCo will see a steady stream of customers when they open the shop.

Lastly, the company has made an assumption that since Grilldon has a large population of retirees who will spend time in various hobbies the new shop will be a success. However, there is no proof to support this assumption. Retired people may like to spend their free time by travelling to new places, visiting families or even enrolling themselves in libraries and social work. Under these circumstances they are unlikely to develop a new hobby and thus visit a hobby shop. Unless, there is proof that retired people are likely to pursue old or new hobbies and visit a hobby shop for the same, it is fallacious to come to a conclusion as has the consulting company.

Thus, I would like to conclude that unless the above questions are answered by the consulting company it would not be a correct decision to open a hobby shop in southeastern Grilldon with the expectation of getting a steady stream of enthusiastic customers.

Votes
Average: 6.1 (3 votes)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 250, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
...id the company get this data? Also, how much does a 300% increase amount to in numbe...
^^^^

Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'however', 'if', 'lastly', 'may', 'so', 'then', 'thus']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.241842610365 0.25644967241 94% => OK
Verbs: 0.174664107486 0.15541462614 112% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0786948176583 0.0836205057962 94% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0383877159309 0.0520304965353 74% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0307101727447 0.0272364105082 113% => OK
Prepositions: 0.115163147793 0.125424944231 92% => OK
Participles: 0.0403071017274 0.0416121511921 97% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.65343531971 2.79052419416 95% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0364683301344 0.026700313972 137% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.001811407834 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.130518234165 0.113004496875 115% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0307101727447 0.0255425247493 120% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0249520153551 0.0127820249294 195% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2769.0 2731.13054187 101% => OK
No of words: 482.0 446.07635468 108% => OK
Chars per words: 5.74481327801 6.12365571057 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68556276237 4.57801047555 102% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.300829875519 0.378187486979 80% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.230290456432 0.287650121315 80% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.161825726141 0.208842608468 77% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.103734439834 0.135150697306 77% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.65343531971 2.79052419416 95% => OK
Unique words: 203.0 207.018472906 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.421161825726 0.469332199767 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 47.1586006271 52.1807786196 90% => OK
How many sentences: 21.0 20.039408867 105% => OK
Sentence length: 22.9523809524 23.2022227129 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 64.0619739622 57.7814097925 111% => OK
Chars per sentence: 131.857142857 141.986410481 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.9523809524 23.2022227129 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.380952380952 0.724660767414 53% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 3.58251231527 28% => OK
Readability: 45.9814265955 51.9672348444 88% => OK
Elegance: 1.62992125984 1.8405768891 89% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.481895241077 0.441005458295 109% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.14261072298 0.135418324435 105% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0928870697861 0.0829849096947 112% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.544549125582 0.58762219726 93% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.197533599405 0.147661913831 134% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.194653883935 0.193483328276 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.112317034364 0.0970749176394 116% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.437059231095 0.42659136922 102% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0819967353256 0.0774707102158 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.35640057946 0.312017818177 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0626028472952 0.0698173142475 90% => OK

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.33743842365 156% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.87684729064 44% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.82512315271 104% => OK
Positive topic words: 12.0 6.46551724138 186% => OK
Negative topic words: 3.0 5.36822660099 56% => OK
Neutral topic words: 5.0 2.82389162562 177% => OK
Total topic words: 20.0 14.657635468 136% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.