The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of a food distribution company with food storage warehouses in several cities."Recently, we signed a contract with the Fly-Away Pest Control Company to provide pest control services at our fast-food

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The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of a food distribution company with food storage warehouses in several cities.
"Recently, we signed a contract with the Fly-Away Pest Control Company to provide pest control services at our fast-food warehouse in Palm City, but last month we discovered that over $20,000 worth of food there had been destroyed by pest damage. Meanwhile, the Buzzoff Pest Control Company, which we have used for many years, continued to service our warehouse in Wintervale, and last month only $10,000 worth of the food stored there had been destroyed by pest damage. Even though the price charged by Fly-Away is considerably lower, our best means of saving money is to return to Buzzoff for all our pest control services."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

This is an excerpt from the vice president of a food distribution company who cites differences among the two pest control services and their damages on the companies' food storages; and considers the Buzzoff pest control company better than the Fly-Away company based upon the series of the factors. However, this recommendation cannot be accepted as it stands; whereas, there are unsubstantiated clues for adherence of which there is not enough cogent reasons.

Firstly, the manager fails to assure me about the memo, because he/she overlooks or over-presents the status of his/her warehouse before the contract. Maybe, the foods were contaminated before the contract; but it was rejected due to his/her stuffs' carelessness. Thus, in this scenario, the new service cannot be evaluated aptly. Moreover, as it cited it is the new contract, and the Fly-Away company presents its service in the short period as a month; in addition, if the area was polluted by the pests before the service there is a need for long period observation to be assure from their efficacy, and comparing it with the Buzzoff Company, which renders service for a long period.

Secondly, this memo faces the shortcoming of the information form the stores condition. As it mentioned, there are two warehouses that allocated in the different spot of the United States, and there is no any concrete evidence and data about their environmental conditions. Maybe, one of them located in the humid region, which presents a sufficient survival condition for the pests, on the other hand, the another one is located in the dried spot with strict situation for the pest's surviving. Thus, it illustrates there are other factors beyond the pest control services, which are effective in the foods' damages, however it is overlooked in this note.

Finally, the leader does some self-prove and self-calculate about the economic benefits of these two services and draws the conclusion just based upon the services’ charges. However, the monetary benefit is defined due to charge plus the damages’ monetary effect; which in this scenario, there is no any cogent and concrete statistic to draw the defined conclusion about their cost-effectiveness and assaying which one is better.

To conclude, several facts present in the note, but vaguely. The writer's conclusion cannot be assumed to be accurate. In fact overlooking and over-presenting some significant point which mentioned above, like the warehouse's past statues, environmental condition of the store, and the scat of the statistic data about the service's economic benefits, put some doubts about the memo's accuracy.

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Average: 6 (1 vote)
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Comments

there is not enough cogent reasons.
there are no enough cogent reasons.

for long period observation to be assure
for an observation in a long period to be assured

Sentence: Secondly, this memo faces the shortcoming of the information form the stores condition.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to stores and condition

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argument 1 -- it is wrong: 'Moreover, as it cited it is the new contract, and the Fly-Away company presents its service in the short period as a month;'. read this: 'Recently, we signed a contract ... but last month we discovered... '

argument 2 -- OK

argument 3 -- OK

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flaws:
remove grammar issues.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 423 350
No. of Characters: 2153 1500
No. of Different Words: 210 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.535 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.09 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.797 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 158 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 126 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 84 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.2 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.189 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.32 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.577 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.093 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5