The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council."An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East M

Essay topics:

The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.
"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where consumption of the plant beneficia is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of beneficia can prevent colds. Since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of nutritional supplements derived from beneficia. We predict this will dramatically reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces."

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

The memo indicates that the nearby East Meria consumes the plant beneficia in a high amount and has low visit rate to doctors for colds. The author concludes that digesting beneficia nutrition could help decrease the absenteeism in the schools and workplaces in the West Meria. However, there are some questions which are not clear explained and render the recommendation a little unconvincing.

First of all, the writer contends that the nearby East Meria people consume a large amount of beneficia which can lead to health body and seldom get colds. Nonetheless, there is no direct information which can prove that the East Meria people have strong body all from beneficia. Probably, East Meria people love to exercise. They might all have regular exercise habits, and this might bring them awesome and strong body condition. Thus, the author might need to offer more information about their daily life styles, not only their food.

Moreover, the memo conducts that colds are the major reason of absenteeism, and hence digesting beneficia could enormously reduce the absenteeism rate. Notwithstanding, the argument does not afford the precise information about the proportion of colds in the absenteeism. Perhaps, there are abundant reasons which all cause absenteeism and the highest reason, colds, only takes 10 percent. As a result, even if the West Meria people get cold in a lower frequency, they might still be absent for other reasons. Thus, the author should cite the "dramatically reduce" into more precise numbers. Furthermore, the complete absenteeism reasons and their percentages should be provided.

Finally, the author asserts that the nutrition of beneficia can reduce the illness rate of human beings. Nevertheless, there is no causal evidence which can demonstrate that the nutrition of beneficia bring about strong body. It is possible that there are other exclusive foods in East Meria which can improve health condition. Or, there might be other food which would combine with beneficia and then cause a helpful nutrition for human bodies. Therefore, the author should provide more accurate information about the thorough digestion of East Meria people.

To fairly appraise the recommendation, the author should offer accurate information to answer the questions about the life style and thorough digestion of the East Meria. Besides, all the reasons which cause absenteeism should also be offered.

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Average: 6 (2 votes)
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Comments

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argument 1 -- OK

argument 2 -- OK

argument 3 -- not exactly. read this:

Since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of nutritional supplements derived from beneficia. We predict this will dramatically reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces.

first, 'nutritional supplements derived from beneficia' are not equal to beneficia. Second, it doesn't mean 'this will dramatically reduce absenteeism '
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flaws:
In GRE, we need to find out arguments from the info provided by the prompts. We can't ask to provide more info, like:

Nonetheless, there is no direct information which can prove that...

Notwithstanding, the argument does not afford the precise information about the proportion of colds in the absenteeism...

Nevertheless, there is no causal evidence which can demonstrate that the nutrition...

Better to say:
there is no causation/relation between A and B...

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 381 350
No. of Characters: 1990 1500
No. of Different Words: 170 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.418 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.223 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.577 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 140 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 95 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.143 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.045 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.619 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.34 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.538 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.121 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5