The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
Prompt:
"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
The author's recommendation that Monarch books store should open a cafe in its store to attract more customers provides a powerful argument,but would definitely equire more thoughts and information.Though the author's recommendation may be logical and probable there may be several hidden facotors that needs to be assayed.
First,people go to book stores in order to purchase books.Monarch already is known for its wide collection of books and has a large customer base.Collection of wide varities of books is the most important characteristic a book store must have.Infact opening a cafe may produce countereffect and decrease the number of customers.Opening a cafe ma lead to customers other than book purchsers visiting the book store and the place may become vociferous due to the nuisance in cafe. People may prefer a peaceful place instead where they can go and peacefully purchase books instead of going to a vociferous book store.
Secondly,it may be possible that most of the customers visit monarch book store for the children section. If the children's book section is discontinued to utilize that space for cafe then the book store will lose a major portion of customers who used to visit the store for children's section. Moreover examining the national census does not provide any information about that particular area. It may be possible that the actual number of children under 10 in that area may have increased or remained constant and may not have plummeted. Thus discontinuing children's section by examining the national census record no where provides a cogent argument that by doing so number of customers will elevate.
Lastly,the author does not provide concrete connection between the loacation and competitivness between Monarch and Regale bookstores.It may be possible that Regale does not have a wide selection of books like monarch and so is shifting its focus to a cafe. Moreover it may be possible that these two book stores are located far away from each other and thus people leaving in proximity to Regale book store will always visit that store irrespective of the cafe.Thus opening a cafe doen not necessarily boosts up the book store's business.
Thus by examinng different angles it can be concluded that the argument is rifed with holes and assumptions.Though the author does highlight a possibility he/she does not provide adequate information to reach any conclusion.
Sentence: The author's recommendation that Monarch books store should open a cafe in its store to attract more customers provides a powerful argument,but would definitely equire more thoughts and information.Though the author's recommendation may be logical and probable there may be several hidden facotors that needs to be assayed.
Error: facotors Suggestion: factors
Error: equire Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: First,people go to book stores in order to purchase books.Monarch already is known for its wide collection of books and has a large customer base.Collection of wide varities of books is the most important characteristic a book store must have.Infact opening a cafe may produce countereffect and decrease the number of customers.Opening a cafe ma lead to customers other than book purchsers visiting the book store and the place may become vociferous due to the nuisance in cafe.
Error: varities Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: countereffect Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: purchsers Suggestion: purchasers
Sentence: Lastly,the author does not provide concrete connection between the loacation and competitivness between Monarch and Regale bookstores.It may be possible that Regale does not have a wide selection of books like monarch and so is shifting its focus to a cafe.
Error: competitivness Suggestion: competitive
Error: loacation Suggestion: location
Sentence: Moreover it may be possible that these two book stores are located far away from each other and thus people leaving in proximity to Regale book store will always visit that store irrespective of the cafe.Thus opening a cafe doen not necessarily boosts up the book store's business.
Error: doen Suggestion: does
Sentence: Thus by examinng different angles it can be concluded that the argument is rifed with holes and assumptions.Though the author does highlight a possibility he/she does not provide adequate information to reach any conclusion.
Error: examinng Suggestion: examining
Error: rifed Suggestion: ?
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 400 350
No. of Characters: 1997 1500
No. of Different Words: 186 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.472 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.992 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.728 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 143 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 113 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 82 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 36.364 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 18.656 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 1 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.435 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.703 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.136 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5