From a letter to the editor of a city newspaper. "One recent research study has indicated that many adolescents need more sleep than they are getting, and another study has shown that many high school students in our city are actually dissatisfied with th

The letter’s declaration that postponing the beginning and ending time for high school students will be caused of an improvement in their academic skills quality and also will help students to have better performance is not entirely logically convincing since it ignores certain crucial assumptions.

First, the letter recommended that the sleeplessness of adolescent and dissatisfaction of high school students with their academic performance would be mitigated by rescheduling the high school classes to begin and end one hour later, yet it does nothing to explain how this will happen. For example, maybe the students reschedule their daily plan based on their school plan; to sleep one hour later at night because they could sleep one hour more in the morning. So the quantity of their sleeping time will remain consist. Or maybe, the students postpone some of their homework to be performed in the morning, before the classes going to be started; hence, they will not sleep one hour more; even are not going to be improved in their academic skills.

In addition, the argument never address an accurate conjecture about both surveys. The former have stated that adolescent need more sleep than they are getting, which is not identified how many hours a day they are getting now, and how much is their needed one. Or maybe they work time is too much to sleep enough in a day. By beginning and ending one hour late, their sleeping time would not be extended; they have to sleep one hour later at night to finish their activities. Also the latter group who was not satisfied with their academic performance; the writer have not announce about their cause of dissatisfactions. For example, maybe it is because of the low quality of their faculty, in which they are educating, or due to low level facilities of their high schools.

Finally, even supposing the students’ dissatisfaction of their performance is just because of their sleeplessness, and also with beginning and ending the daily school plan, one hour extra sleeping time will provided for adolescent, the argument still depends on the relation between the adolescent and the students which is not clearly identified. Maybe the adolescent that the study indicates are those who are just busy by their works and are not studying at high school, or maybe the students at high school do not need an extra hour sleeping time for their improvement; even they need to come one hour sooner to school, to have more exercises for better performance.

In the final analysis, the argument is not completely sound. The evidence to support of the recommendation that rescheduling the daily school time to begin and end one hour sooner would conclude the better improvement in students’ performance does little to prove the recommendation, since it does not address the assumptions already raised. Ultimately, the argument might have been strengthen if the weaknesses already referred to are all removed.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

The former have stated that
The former has stated that

the writer have not announce about their cause of dissatisfactions
the writer has no announce about their cause of dissatisfaction

argument 1 -- OK

argument 2 -- OK

argument 3 -- Need to argue against the conclusion: 'Consequently, the students will perform better on tests and other assignments, and their academic skills will improve significantly'.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 487 350
No. of Characters: 2415 1500
No. of Different Words: 191 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.698 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.959 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.674 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 154 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 121 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 88 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 30.438 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.141 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.353 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.566 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.069 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5