For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, all of the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses
In the given argument, the author - the owner of the cheese stores located throughout the United States says that since the newest store in Wisconsin has domestic cheddar cheeses as their five best-selling kinds of cheese, the company should reduce the expenses by limiting the inventory and primarily focus on the domestic cheese rather than the imported ones to improve profits. While the author's decision seems biased and reaching towards the conclusion, he missed addressing pieces of information that can be relevant to take the decision.
Initially, the author says that the five best-selling kinds of cheese at the newest store located in Wisconsin were domestic cheddar cheeses. Here, the author infers that, if these domestic cheddar cheeses are the best selling in Wisconsin, they will prove to be best-selling in all the other locations of the United States. This is a very baseless conclusion and the author must further look into other possibilities. It is highly probable, that the people in other parts of the United States may prefer an imported cheese rather than the domestic cheese. If this happens to be true, then all the other stores whose best-selling cheeses are imported cheeses will definitely suffer a huge loss if as per the author's suggestion, the inventories are stocked up with domestic cheeses only. Therefore, the buying patterns of customers from different parts of the country should be considered.
Later on, the author says that a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Now, when the author mentions this, he overlooks the fact that the survey was taken by only the subscribers. The possibility that the customers of the Cheese stores have subscribed to this magazine is really low. We do not have any connection between the subscribers and the customers of the cheese stores. So, to rely on a survey of a magazine of which your customers may not even be a part of is highly risky and can't be used as a base to make a decision. Instead, the author should conduct a survey of his own in all the stores across the United States and know for himself what the customers from the different parts of the country have to say.
Moving forward, the author suggests that the company should reduce the expenses by limiting inventory. He says that the company should discontinue stocking the varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheese. While reaching this conclusion, the author doesn't address the points mentioned above. And discontinuing the stocking of imported cheese will impact the stores where imported cheese sales are high. Therefore, before making decisions in a hurry, the author should know the preference of his customers and not rely on magazine surveys.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: GoodExcellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 463 350
No. of Characters: 2310 1500
No. of Different Words: 201 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.639 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.989 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.594 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 192 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 121 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 89 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.368 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.282 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.526 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.366 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.525 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.135 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 709, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...nitely suffer a huge loss if as per the authors suggestion, the inventories are stocked...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 575, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...t even be a part of is highly risky and cant be used as a base to make a decision. I...
^^^^
Line 7, column 279, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...le reaching this conclusion, the author doesnt address the points mentioned above. And...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
if, look, may, really, so, then, therefore, while
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 55.5748502994 103% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2362.0 2260.96107784 104% => OK
No of words: 462.0 441.139720559 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.11255411255 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63618218583 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66199733634 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 204.123752495 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.448051948052 0.468620217663 96% => OK
syllable_count: 730.8 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 66.3406386193 57.8364921388 115% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.315789474 119.503703932 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.3157894737 23.324526521 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.57894736842 5.70786347227 45% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.35181316747 0.218282227539 161% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.121943482579 0.0743258471296 164% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.119446334131 0.0701772020484 170% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.237848325114 0.128457276422 185% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0725133999686 0.0628817314937 115% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.8 14.3799401198 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.65 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.83 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 98.500998004 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 12.3882235529 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.