The author’s argument does not make a cogent case for the relationship between the birth order and the hormone cortisol on rhesus monkeys and humans. While his ideas seem to make sense at first glance, there are various assumptions that weaken the argument. The following paragraphs describe three of the most important issues.
To begin with, the study that supports the suggested conclusions is based on only eighteen rhesus monkeys. Clearly, this limited sample may not be representative enough to draw conclusions about all the members of this specie of primates and, even less, about the human being. In addition, the quantity of variables that play a role in the level of cortisol considered in this study is unknown. The lack of these parameters (if case), could have unconsciously led to scientist to come up with the stated conclusion.
Another important assumption the author based on his argument is that the sample of eighteen monkeys includes a wide variety of siblings of different ages. It may be possible that the significantly higher cortisol generated in older siblings during stimulating situations is due to the difference in nourishment habits they have. In other words, the study may be comparing “teenager” monkeys with recently born ones, two members that can be differentiated in various aspects apart from the birth order. We simply do not know from the given information.
The argument gets even weaker when it associates the findings on monkeys with humans being. While the author mentioned a considerable difference in hormone cortisol in rhesus monkeys, he also suggests “relative high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations” when it comes to people. It would be necessary, at least, to know how much is the difference of the observed cortisol hormone and how many individuals conformed the sample.
Last but not least, the study revealed a higher level of cortisol in first-time mother monkeys during pregnancy period. While this could be a strong support, it is not clear whether or not this hormone can be taken after mothers. Besides, once again a larger sample of monkeys should be studied to strengthen this theory.
In conclusion, this study main issue is the limited number of monkeys and people that were studied, which weakens every suggested theory. To make this study reliable, a comprehensive survey should be performed on thousands of rhesus monkeys and people, including different potential variables other than the birth order, such as habitat, food, and degree of activity.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 9, column 175, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...ld be a strong support, it is not clear whether or not this hormone can be taken after mothers...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'besides', 'but', 'first', 'if', 'may', 'so', 'then', 'while', 'apart from', 'at least', 'in addition', 'in conclusion', 'such as', 'in other words', 'to begin with']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.255913978495 0.25644967241 100% => OK
Verbs: 0.135483870968 0.15541462614 87% => OK
Adjectives: 0.103225806452 0.0836205057962 123% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0451612903226 0.0520304965353 87% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0215053763441 0.0272364105082 79% => OK
Prepositions: 0.122580645161 0.125424944231 98% => OK
Participles: 0.0365591397849 0.0416121511921 88% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.93639214632 2.79052419416 105% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0215053763441 0.026700313972 81% => OK
Particles: 0.00215053763441 0.001811407834 119% => OK
Determiners: 0.10752688172 0.113004496875 95% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0215053763441 0.0255425247493 84% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0215053763441 0.0127820249294 168% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2559.0 2731.13054187 94% => OK
No of words: 408.0 446.07635468 91% => OK
Chars per words: 6.27205882353 6.12365571057 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49433085973 4.57801047555 98% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.399509803922 0.378187486979 106% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.303921568627 0.287650121315 106% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.220588235294 0.208842608468 106% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.137254901961 0.135150697306 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.93639214632 2.79052419416 105% => OK
Unique words: 220.0 207.018472906 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.539215686275 0.469332199767 115% => OK
Word variations: 61.4621761902 52.1807786196 118% => OK
How many sentences: 19.0 20.039408867 95% => OK
Sentence length: 21.4736842105 23.2022227129 93% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.7383900661 57.7814097925 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 134.684210526 141.986410481 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.4736842105 23.2022227129 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.842105263158 0.724660767414 116% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.14285714286 117% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 3.58251231527 28% => OK
Readability: 51.8658410733 51.9672348444 100% => OK
Elegance: 2.05319148936 1.8405768891 112% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.404387023484 0.441005458295 92% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.102315733896 0.135418324435 76% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0488109520061 0.0829849096947 59% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.584544898226 0.58762219726 99% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.104528711558 0.147661913831 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.166137188983 0.193483328276 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0741565211226 0.0970749176394 76% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.357026784908 0.42659136922 84% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.104063655295 0.0774707102158 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.260484854853 0.312017818177 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0648333493024 0.0698173142475 93% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.33743842365 108% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.87684729064 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.82512315271 83% => OK
Positive topic words: 6.0 6.46551724138 93% => OK
Negative topic words: 6.0 5.36822660099 112% => OK
Neutral topic words: 2.0 2.82389162562 71% => OK
Total topic words: 14.0 14.657635468 96% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.