"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
The author reaches the conclusion that under stimulating situations, first born monkeys produce twice as much hormone cortisol compared to their younger siblings. The argument with which the author reaches their conclusion is around the perception that birth order impacts the production levels of hormone cortisol. While the body maybe produce higher levels of hormones due to various reasons, the authors argument that the higher levels are due to birth order is incorrect. The authors failed to take into consideration variables that can greatly impact the specimens’ reactions and therefor increase the bodily production of hormones, like the parental role older monkeys assume with younger sibling and environmental emotions.
First of all, the authors failed to take into account that while birth order may have played a role in the increased levels of hormones, it was not due to the reason of increased in hormone levels. Older monkeys can play the parental role when in the presence of younger siblings. It is a natural behavior for older versions of any life form to take that responsibility in situations in order to shield their younger family members from potential threats or harm.
Furthermore, the authors declined to specify if both samples of monkeys, both the older and younger, we subject to similar conditions prior to the testing. Any slight variation in the environment may have changed the psychological outlook on the samples. Different variations in environments lead to different illustrations of emotions. Perhaps the older monkey prior to testing was placed on a different treatment throughout the day. These variables however slight will alter emotional reactions in any life form.
However, based on the assumptive conclusion of birth order being the primary indicator for increased levels in hormone, if more variable information was provided perhaps their conclusion would be correct. The author could have mentioned how many different monkey sets were utilized in order to reach this conclusion. The number of sets would also need to represent an adequate sample size to support these conclusions. Ultimately, the authors' lack of evidence fails to support their argument and conclusion in respect to many variables that could influence the outcome of the test scenario.
In conclusion, it can be determined that while testing was performed to see if first born monkeys had higher levels of hormone, the results were inaccurately assumed. The author needed to perform many more variations of sample testing support the birth order argument.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 400, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...of hormones due to various reasons, the authors argument that the higher levels are due...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 242, Rule ID: NUMEROUS_DIFFERENT[1]
Message: Use simply 'many'.
Suggestion: many
...ct. The author could have mentioned how many different monkey sets were utilized in order to r...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, furthermore, however, if, look, may, so, while, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => OK
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2195.0 2260.96107784 97% => OK
No of words: 404.0 441.139720559 92% => OK
Chars per words: 5.43316831683 5.12650576532 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48327461151 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81262518919 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 197.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.487623762376 0.468620217663 104% => OK
syllable_count: 671.4 705.55239521 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.471057884232 0% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.7148970396 57.8364921388 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.944444444 119.503703932 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.4444444444 23.324526521 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.88888888889 5.70786347227 86% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.159460507885 0.218282227539 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0507593525074 0.0743258471296 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0313312531571 0.0701772020484 45% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0891829480518 0.128457276422 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0376756875216 0.0628817314937 60% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.4 14.3799401198 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 48.3550499002 84% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.51 12.5979740519 115% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.18 8.32208582834 110% => OK
difficult_words: 114.0 98.500998004 116% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.