A recent study indicates that Venadial, a new margarine currently produced only in the country of Alta, actually reduces cholesterol levels. Derived from the resin of pine trees, Venadial works by activating a metabolic response that is not yet well understood. However, cholesterol levels fell ten to fifteen percent among participants in the study who consumed Venadial daily, and the risk of heart attack by one-third. In addition, the new margarine is so popular that stores in Alta are unable to keep it on their shelves. Therefore, if our company obtains the exclusive right to sell Venadial internationally, our profits are sure to increase substantially within a very short time.
In the above argument the author says that Venadial, a new margarine derived from the resin of pine trees, Venadial works by activating a metabolic response and helps in improving cholesterol levels to ten to fifteen percent and the risk of heart attack by one-third. Now the author claims that the new margarine is so popular that stores in Alta are unable to keep it on their shelves and hence when there company obtains the exclusive rights to sell Venadial internationally, there profits could increase substantially within a very short time is a very bizarre. The author has missed a lot of factors before drawing this conclusion and hence the conclusion cannot be trusted.
The author has mentioned that in a study among few participants who were given Venadial, a new margarine it was seen that there cholesterol level decresed to ten to fifteen percentage and the risk of hear attack by one-third but the details of the particpants is not given like there age, lifestyle, gender and other factors that effect any study and hence it cannot be generalised that each and every person will have the same effect of Venadial. Hence the releveance of the study is decreased and company making profit internationally is doubted since we cannot assure the same result on each and every person.
Also, the author has mentioned that the medicine Venadial reduces cholestrol and heart attack risks but the working structure which is activating a metabolic response is not well understood and hence it is a very pasuible case that if that medicine is sold at international level it will create some unhealthy side-effects and thus it will effect the sell of the drug and not giving them high profit. Not just the profit but it can be a case that if side-effects hit there can be some judicary case involved and the company might shut or face loses since no proper mechanism has been studied before hand.
The author has also made a very false assumption that if they start to sell there medicine internationally, people will buy them. The author has not looked into the fact that there might already be some kind of medication available that people are already using and it has equal chance that the medicine has some kind of nearly same effect that of Venadial without any side effect and in that case they have to fight to a very tough competion and then only they can gain profits and not very soon. A point that author has missed can be that even though right now there is surplus amount of Venadial avaialbe but as soon as they start to sell it internationally the amount will be reduced and then prices will increase and if they had to sell it internationally so a lot of other costs need to maintained and therefore the overall cost of the medicine will be increased and thus it will reduce the chances of people buying them and thus reducing there profits.
Therefore the author need to look into more things and more study of this drug Venadial before claming that it could provide them high profit in a very short term.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 449, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
... will have the same effect of Venadial. Hence the releveance of the study is decrease...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 341, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[6]
Message: Did you mean 'affect'?
Suggestion: affect
...unhealthy side-effects and thus it will effect the sell of the drug and not giving the...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 593, Rule ID: BEFORE_HAND[1]
Message: Did you mean 'beforehand'?
Suggestion: beforehand
...ce no proper mechanism has been studied before hand. The author has also made a very fal...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...hem and thus reducing there profits. Therefore the author need to look into more thing...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, if, look, so, then, therefore, third, thus, well, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 21.0 12.9520958084 162% => OK
Conjunction : 30.0 11.1786427146 268% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 23.0 13.6137724551 169% => OK
Pronoun: 45.0 28.8173652695 156% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 54.0 55.5748502994 97% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 16.3942115768 30% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2509.0 2260.96107784 111% => OK
No of words: 530.0 441.139720559 120% => OK
Chars per words: 4.73396226415 5.12650576532 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.79809637944 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56437862568 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 225.0 204.123752495 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.424528301887 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 807.3 705.55239521 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 4.96107784431 0% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.471057884232 0% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 19.7664670659 56% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 48.0 22.8473053892 210% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 122.979135501 57.8364921388 213% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 228.090909091 119.503703932 191% => OK
Words per sentence: 48.1818181818 23.324526521 207% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 6.81818181818 5.70786347227 119% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.159301238855 0.218282227539 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0684313092566 0.0743258471296 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0890494187042 0.0701772020484 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0957378194371 0.128457276422 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0676674475361 0.0628817314937 108% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 24.9 14.3799401198 173% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 31.22 48.3550499002 65% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 20.8 12.197005988 171% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.04 12.5979740519 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.64 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 98.500998004 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.5 12.3882235529 149% => OK
gunning_fog: 21.2 11.1389221557 190% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.