The vice president for human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president."In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from thei

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The vice president for human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet inappropriately from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. Installing software on company computers to detect employees' Internet use is the best way to prevent employees from wasting time on the job. It will foster a better work ethic at Climpson and improve our overall profits."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

In the recommendation sent by the vice president for human resources at Climpson Industries, he states some problems with the usage of internet in the employees workstations and proposes a meassure to remedy this. While his statements and claims seem plausible, he needs to give more evidence so the arguments can be evaluated at full and analyze if the recommendation is appropiate.

First, the author says that there is a need to improve employees productivity, but there is no sign that there is a failure in this issue. If a report of production per employee were to be presented, it could clarify if there is indeed a need to improve productivity of the current employees, or if there is a need to hire more personnel or modernize the tools they use.

Second, the author proclaims that the monitoring and detection of bad use of the internet would help to reduce the hours spent in personal and recreational activities. The author should provide the data showing how many hours are spent in the internet, and how many of those hours are spent in non work-related use of the internet. And while controlling and blocking content would reduce hours spent in the internet, it does not assure it would reduce hours spent in recreational or personal activities, since there is a large range of activities that fall into this description and every employee spends different amount of time in each one. If employees would see their internet time reduced it could lead them to do other activities that could require even more time.

Finally, the author would do well to provide evidence regarding the full consequences if this recommendation were applied. Studies show that personal or recreational activities during some minutes at work hours are related to stress reduction and improved productivity. In which case this proposal would be counterproductive. Moreover, there author should give data that substantiate the claim that this meassure will improve work ethics. Furthermore, an economical study should be made in order to analyze if this recommendation would actually be profitable. If it proved to be more expensive than the hours the employees pass on the internet, this recommendation would diminish greatly.

In conclusion, while the arguments and recommendations presented by the author are plausible, there is a need for evidence in order to clarify some aspects of them and in some cases to bolster his propositions about monitoring the internet usage of Climson Industries' employees.

Votes
Average: 3.5 (2 votes)
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Comments

Sentence: In the recommendation sent by the vice president for human resources at Climpson Industries, he states some problems with the usage of internet in the employees workstations and proposes a meassure to remedy this.
Error: meassure Suggestion: measure

Sentence: While his statements and claims seem plausible, he needs to give more evidence so the arguments can be evaluated at full and analyze if the recommendation is appropiate.
Error: appropiate Suggestion: appropriate

Sentence: Moreover, there author should give data that substantiate the claim that this meassure will improve work ethics.
Error: meassure Suggestion: measure

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argument 1 -- not OK.

Suggested:
A logical flow should be mentioned is the correlation between the amount of work hours and the actual productivity.

argument 2 -- OK but need to be more specific like: As compensations for internet, they might tempt to chat with companions in the office, or they can simply access internet through their mobile devices such as i-pad or smartphones.

argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 408 350
No. of Characters: 2055 1500
No. of Different Words: 183 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.494 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.037 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.964 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 135 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 110 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.2 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.256 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.733 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.355 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.62 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.153 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5