1. The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people ten to twenty-five years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
Whirlwind video games have experimented a sales decline over the past two years, in order to increase the sales they have introduced several games which are really likely to atrac customers according with a survey. However, the conclusion article relies in some assumptions which are not proved at all or for which there is no clear evidence. Hence, the argument is unconvincig and has several flaws.
First of all, althoug the argument stated that Whirlwind video games had experinmented a sales decline, any figure to support that is presented. Reading the argument is impossible to know if the sales decline is important or not. A sales decrease could represent a 1% of sales or a 90% and, therefore, without further information, is impossible to asses how important this decline is. However, the article seems to asum that the decline is really improtant. If the decrease of sales is proved not to be important, any decision to fix it should be taken and the article at all becomes ineccesary.
Secondly, the main causes of this decline are not adresses in the paper. The selection of video games in the shop is not the only factor to take into account, as the autor readily assumes. For example, the prirate download or the oppening of shopping centre near the shop could also affect the sales. In case that there exists any other possible reason to explain the decline, the solution of changins the videogames selection could not fix the problem at all.
Finally, the decision of what videogames intoduce to attrac new customers is bassed on a survey which scope is not stated in the article. The author trust on the survey results while the is not enougth information. How many people had been interviewed? What ages-groups were they? Further information is nedeed in order to decide how reliable the survey is.
Summarizing, the argument is falwed becuse of the above mentioned causes and is therefore inconvicing. Moreover, without further information that proves if the assumptions ar rithg or wrong, the argument remains unsubstantiated.
Sentence: The author trust on the survey results while the is not enougth information.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by a verb 'to be', present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to the and is
Sentence: Whirlwind video games have experimented a sales decline over the past two years, in order to increase the sales they have introduced several games which are really likely to atrac customers according with a survey.
Error: atrac Suggestion: attract
Sentence: Hence, the argument is unconvincig and has several flaws.
Error: unconvincig Suggestion: unconvincing
Sentence: First of all, althoug the argument stated that Whirlwind video games had experinmented a sales decline, any figure to support that is presented.
Error: althoug Suggestion: although
Error: experinmented Suggestion: experimented
Sentence: However, the article seems to asum that the decline is really improtant.
Error: improtant Suggestion: important
Error: asum Suggestion: sum
Sentence: If the decrease of sales is proved not to be important, any decision to fix it should be taken and the article at all becomes ineccesary.
Error: ineccesary Suggestion: necessary
Sentence: Secondly, the main causes of this decline are not adresses in the paper.
Error: adresses Suggestion: dresses
Sentence: The selection of video games in the shop is not the only factor to take into account, as the autor readily assumes.
Error: autor Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: For example, the prirate download or the oppening of shopping centre near the shop could also affect the sales.
Error: prirate Suggestion: private
Error: oppening Suggestion: opening
Error: centre Suggestion: center
Sentence: In case that there exists any other possible reason to explain the decline, the solution of changins the videogames selection could not fix the problem at all.
Error: changins Suggestion: changing
Error: videogames Suggestion: videotapes
Sentence: Finally, the decision of what videogames intoduce to attrac new customers is bassed on a survey which scope is not stated in the article.
Error: intoduce Suggestion: introduce
Error: attrac Suggestion: attract
Error: videogames Suggestion: videotapes
Error: bassed Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: The author trust on the survey results while the is not enougth information.
Error: enougth Suggestion: enough
Error: ages-groups Suggestion: ages groups
Sentence: Further information is nedeed in order to decide how reliable the survey is.
Error: nedeed Suggestion: needed
Sentence: Summarizing, the argument is falwed becuse of the above mentioned causes and is therefore inconvicing.
Error: inconvicing Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: becuse Suggestion: because
Error: falwed Suggestion: flawed
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 21 2 (Hi, leave some minutes check out spellings)
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 21 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 341 350
No. of Characters: 1665 1500
No. of Different Words: 169 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.297 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.883 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.666 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 124 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 94 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 59 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.947 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.756 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.737 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.296 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.544 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.067 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5