Argument essay
“On average, middle-aged consumers devote 39 percent of their retail expenditure
to department store products and services, while for younger consumers the
average is only 25 percent. Since the number of middle-aged people will increase
dramatically within the next decade, department stores can expect retail sales to
increase significantly during that period. Furthermore, to take advantage of the
trend, these stores should begin to replace some of those products intended to
attract the younger consumer with products intended to attract the middle-aged
consumer.”
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It has be studied that the choice and selection of the person changes from age to age. Choice of the younger person can not be the same as older one. Here author is talking about the consumption of the younger person and middle age person.
In young age the requirements and purchase of the person is different and strongly related to the age. The cosmetics and extra purchase of younger will be different from the purchase of the middle aged person. According to the author purchase in the departmental store products and services younger age consumption is 14 less then the middle age consumer. This decrease in the consumption can be due to the many different reasons.
In the middle aged person there is possibilities of different diseases, less sleeping problem and more. So it directly effects on the diet, routine, and other requirements. While in younger age this type of problem are found very rarely. The things available in the departmental store may be similar to the need of middle ages person so the purchase is more there and retail expenditure of the person increase. In the same way products and services in the departmental stores do not matches with the younger buyer so they may not buy so it’s retail expenditure decreases. It is also possible that the quality available in the departmental store does not so much good that younger consumer prefer to buy from there.
This above discussion does not stat that retail expenditure of the middle ages will increases in the next decades. It may happen that in the coming time the requirements and the view of the younger consumers changes and matches with the departmental store contains and new purchase. Or it may happen that the quality of the department store attracts the younger consumer to purchase so the retail expenditure increase compare to the middle ages.
Keeping in the current scenario in the mind and replacing the some of products intented to attract the younger consumer with the products attracts the middle age consumer is not in fact the correct decision. Because we don’t have the exact idea about the younger consumers requirements and their fashion trends in the next 10 years. It may happen that the numbers of younger coming in the next 10 years increase compare to middle aged person and the retail expenditure of the younger consumers increases.
So as it stands the authors opinion regarding the increase in the retail expenditure of the middle ages people will increase is not correct. In addition there is not any other results will make it sure about the younger consumers expenditure in the next 21 years. So the decision of the replacing the younger age attracting products with the products attracting the middle ages not at all satisfactory.
Comments
spell check
Sentence: On average, middle-aged consumers devote 39 percent of their retail expenditure to department store products and services, while for younger consumers the average is only 25 percent.
Error: middle-aged Suggestion: middle aged
Sentence: Since the number of middle-aged people will increase dramatically within the next decade, department stores can expect retail sales to increase significantly during that period.
Error: middle-aged Suggestion: middle aged
Sentence: Furthermore, to take advantage of the trend, these stores should begin to replace some of those products intended to attract the younger consumer with products intended to attract the middle-aged consumer.
Error: middle-aged Suggestion: middle aged
Sentence: It has be studied that the choice and selection of the person changes from age to age.
No spelling errors
Sentence: Choice of the younger person can not be the same as older one.
No spelling errors
Sentence: Here author is talking about the consumption of the younger person and middle age person.
No spelling errors
Sentence: In young age the requirements and purchase of the person is different and strongly related to the age.
No spelling errors
Sentence: The cosmetics and extra purchase of younger will be different from the purchase of the middle aged person.
No spelling errors
Sentence: According to the author purchase in the departmental store products and services younger age consumption is 14 less then the middle age consumer.
No spelling errors
Sentence: This decrease in the consumption can be due to the many different reasons.
No spelling errors
Sentence: In the middle aged person there is possibilities of different diseases, less sleeping problem and more.
No spelling errors
Sentence: So it directly effects on the diet, routine, and other requirements.
No spelling errors
Sentence: While in younger age this type of problem are found very rarely.
No spelling errors
Sentence: The things available in the departmental store may be similar to the need of middle ages person so the purchase is more there and retail expenditure of the person increase.
Error: may Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: In the same way products and services in the departmental stores do not matches with the younger buyer so they may not buy so it's retail expenditure decreases.
Error: may Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: It is also possible that the quality available in the departmental store does not so much good that younger consumer prefer to buy from there.
No spelling errors
Sentence: This above discussion does not stat that retail expenditure of the middle ages will increases in the next decades.
Error: stat Suggestion: state
Sentence: It may happen that in the coming time the requirements and the view of the younger consumers changes and matches with the departmental store contains and new purchase.
Error: may Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Or it may happen that the quality of the department store attracts the younger consumer to purchase so the retail expenditure increase compare to the middle ages.
Error: may Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Keeping in the current scenario in the mind and replacing the some of products intented to attract the younger consumer with the products attracts the middle age consumer is not in fact the correct decision.
Error: intented Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Because we don't have the exact idea about the younger consumers requirements and their fashion trends in the next 10 years.
No spelling errors
Sentence: It may happen that the numbers of younger coming in the next 10 years increase compare to middle aged person and the retail expenditure of the younger consumers increases.
Error: may Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: So as it stands the authors opinion regarding the increase in the retail expenditure of the middle ages people will increase is not correct.
No spelling errors
Sentence: In addition there is not any other results will make it sure about the younger consumers expenditure in the next 21 years.
No spelling errors
Sentence: So the decision of the replacing the younger age attracting products with the products attracting the middle ages not at all satisfactory.
No spelling errors
vocabulary
No. of Spelling Errors: 4
No. of Words: 550
No. of Different Words: 191
Average Word Length: 4.953
Word Length SD: 2.674
No. of Characters: 2724
Organizations
Average Sentence Length: 22
Sentence Length SD: 6.456
Use of Passive Voice: 0
Use of Discourse Markers: 0.64
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.378
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.572
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.153
Attribute Value
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 16 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 550 350
No. of Characters: 2724 1500
No. of Different Words: 191 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.843 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.953 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.674 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 214 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 158 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 105 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.456 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.64 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.378 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.572 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.153 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Sentence: On average, middle-aged consumers devote 39 percent of their retail expenditure to department store products and services, while for younger consumers the average is only 25 percent.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: Since the number of middle-aged people will increase dramatically within the next decade, department stores can expect retail sales to increase significantly during that period.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: Furthermore, to take advantage of the trend, these stores should begin to replace some of those products intended to attract the younger consumer with products intended to attract the middle-aged consumer.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: It has be studied that the choice and selection of the person changes from age to age.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: Choice of the younger person can not be the same as older one.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: Here author is talking about the consumption of the younger person and middle age person.
Description: The fragment Here author is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace Here with adjective
Sentence: In young age the requirements and purchase of the person is different and strongly related to the age.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: The cosmetics and extra purchase of younger will be different from the purchase of the middle aged person.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: According to the author purchase in the departmental store products and services younger age consumption is 14 less then the middle age consumer.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: This decrease in the consumption can be due to the many different reasons.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: In the middle aged person there is possibilities of different diseases, less sleeping problem and more.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to is and possibilities
Sentence: So it directly effects on the diet, routine, and other requirements.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: While in younger age this type of problem are found very rarely.
Description: The fragment type of problem is not usually followed by are
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace are with is
Sentence: The things available in the departmental store may be similar to the need of middle ages person so the purchase is more there and retail expenditure of the person increase.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to ages and person
Description: The fragment more there and is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace there with adjective
Sentence: In the same way products and services in the departmental stores do not matches with the younger buyer so they may not buy so it's retail expenditure decreases.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to it's and retail
Sentence: It is also possible that the quality available in the departmental store does not so much good that younger consumer prefer to buy from there.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to quality and available
Description: The fragment consumer prefer to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace prefer with verb, past tense
Sentence: This above discussion does not stat that retail expenditure of the middle ages will increases in the next decades.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to will and increases
Sentence: It may happen that in the coming time the requirements and the view of the younger consumers changes and matches with the departmental store contains and new purchase.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to consumers and changes
Sentence: Or it may happen that the quality of the department store attracts the younger consumer to purchase so the retail expenditure increase compare to the middle ages.
Description: The fragment increase compare to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace compare with verb, past participle
Sentence: Keeping in the current scenario in the mind and replacing the some of products intented to attract the younger consumer with the products attracts the middle age consumer is not in fact the correct decision.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: Because we don't have the exact idea about the younger consumers requirements and their fashion trends in the next 10 years.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to consumers and requirements
Sentence: It may happen that the numbers of younger coming in the next 10 years increase compare to middle aged person and the retail expenditure of the younger consumers increases.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to consumers and increases
Sentence: So as it stands the authors opinion regarding the increase in the retail expenditure of the middle ages people will increase is not correct.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to authors and opinion
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to ages and people
Sentence: In addition there is not any other results will make it sure about the younger consumers expenditure in the next 21 years.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to consumers and expenditure
Sentence: So the decision of the replacing the younger age attracting products with the products attracting the middle ages not at all satisfactory.
No grammatical errors