You are hereArgument: recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant

Argument: recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant


sheepfei199184's picture

By sheepfei199184 - Posted on 20 April 2012

Essay topic: 

Argument: recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce upto twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring.

The author of the letter introduction a investigate result which perhaps reveal impact of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. To support the claim, the author cites three examples about the firstborn infant,firstborn humans and first-time mother monkey sequentially to prove that a positive relationship may be exists with birth order and the level of the hormone cortiso. Close scrutiny of each of the evidence, however, none of them is credible.

First at all, as for the first example, producing twice as much of the hormone cortisol doesn't indicate that there is a relation with birth order and the level of hormone,perhaps it may be caused by other factors such as gender:as I know,monkeys of different gender will have different level of hormone even if they share the same circumstance. According to it,there is a flaw in the research that it doesn't remind gender and so that they can't rule out a following situation that all the first infant monkeys in experiment are female who will actually secrete more hormones. Even if they are not first infant,they can also produce the highest level of hormones. In short, the factors that have impact on the level of stimulation may be monkey's gender rather than birth order.

Second, about the firstborn humans, the experiment is also not credible.It's entirely possible that the firstborn infant doesn't have playmates at home, so parents are their only friends. After a period time doesn't see their parents, they will be so excited and then produce more hormones when parents come home. On the contrast, as for the later born infant, they use to play with their sisters or brothers,so maybe they don't mind whether their parents are at home or not.

Third, about the last experiment, the author assume unfairly that first-time mother monkeys who have higher levels of hormone will delivery an infant monkey that also have relatively more hormone. However, the author use no evidence to support the assumption.Lacking such evidence it is equally possible that the hormone level of mothers don't influence the offspring's. Thus, the author 's claim is not credible.

In sum, all these three examples can't attest the relationship with birth order and the level of hormone of cortiso.The results from the experiments may be influent by other factors,such as gender. So to strength the claim, the author should rule out all other possible factors.

Average: 6.4 (26 votes)
Tags
More essays by this user:
Looking for speaking partner/tutor/chat? Join the instant conversation now!
    
Something about you
Choose a nickname and enter at least one ID (Skype, MSN, QQ, ICQ or Yahoo) if you want to be listed!
Registered users only
Loading...
(178 users watching; 1 users on the list)
People online
Nickname Sex L Country Favorite topics Contact

Claim: Many problems of modern society cannot be solved by laws and the legal system.Reason: Laws cannot change what is in people's hearts or minds. desert511 sticky icon
The following appeared as part of an article in a business magazine."A recent study rating 300 male and female Mentian advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep t diwakar
Claim: When planning courses, educators should take into account the interests and suggestions of their students.Reason: Students are more motivated to learn when they are interested in what they are studying. Write a response in which you discuss the ext maxchen
"Despite opposition from some residents of West Roseville, the arguments in favor of merging the townships of Hamden and North Hamden are overwhelming. First, residents in both townships are confused about which authority to contact when they need a servi Aru
The following is a letter to the editor of an environmental magazine."In 1975 a wildlife census found that there were seven species of amphibians in Xanadu National Park, with abundant numbers of each species. However, in 2002 only four species of amphibi Ms_Really sticky icon
Argument:"Arctic deer live on islands in canada's arctic regions.they search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of the year.their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants om which they feed and cold en reetmoni
A nation should require all of its students to study the national curriculum until they enter college. kelesmart
The following appeared as a letter to the editor from a Central Plaza store owner."Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central nb_gre sticky icon
The real talent of a popular musician cannot accurately be assessed until the musician has been dead for several generations, so that his or her fame does not interfere with honest assessment.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you a emishra17
many important discoveries or creations are accidental: it is usually while seeking the answer to one question that we come across the answer to another. lj1991 sticky icon

Term
The following appeared in a memorandum from the planning department of an electric power company."Several recent surveys indicate that home owners are increasingly eager to conserve energy. At the same time, manufacturers are now marketing many home appli Vanan GMAT/GRE
Techno corporation is our top pick for the investment this term. We urge all our clients to invest in this new company. For the first time in ten years, a company that has developed a stellite technology has been approvd by the FTA to compete with current imrami sticky icon GMAT/GRE Argument Task
the following appeared in a letter to the editor of a Batavia newspaper."The department of agriculture in Batavia reports that the number of dairy farms throughout the country is now 25 percent greater than it was 10 years ago. During this same time perio nbkru2f GMAT/GRE Argument Task
In any field of inquiry, the beginner is more likely than the expert to make important contributions darsh GMAT/GRE Issue Task
Commuters complain that increased rush-hour traffic on Blue Highway between the suburbs and the city center has doubled their commuting time. The favored proposal of the motorists' lobby is to widen the highway, adding an additional lane of traffic. Oppon Vanan sticky icon GMAT/GRE
"Only once one has known real sadness can one feel true happiness." prifriendz sticky icon GMAT/GRE
Argument Essay:-->"Of the two leading real estate firms in our town—Adams Realty and Fitch Realty—Adams Realty is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents; in contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last smartaquarius10 GMAT/GRE
Although innovations such as video, computers, and the Internet seem to offer schools improved methods for instructing students, these technologies all too often distract from real learning. - GRE Issue 119 six11 GMAT/GRE
Educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed. wasainika17 GMAT/GRE
If we want to save money on municipal garbage disposal fees,we encourage our residents to late last year our neighbouring town,Hayesworth has seen garbage disposal cost significantly decrease.If we implemented advertisingcampaign encouragingour residents Shawon GMAT/GRE

Term
The following appeared in a memo from the new vice president of Sartorian, a company that manufactures men's clothing."Five years ago, at a time when we had difficulties in obtaining reliable supplies of high quality wool fabric, we discontinued productio Sunyue sticky icon GMAT/GRE Argument Task
Governments should focus on solving the immediate problems of today rather than on trying to solve the anticipated problems of the future. siamakd sticky icon GMAT/GRE Issue Task
The most effective way to understand contemporary culture is to analyze the trends of its youth. siamakd GMAT/GRE Issue Task
The following appeared in a letter from a homeowner to a friend."Of the two leading real estate firms in our town—Adams Realty and Fitch Realty—Adams Realty is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents; in contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work svanth GMAT/GRE Argument Task
People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making. Sunyue GMAT/GRE Issue Task
55. In order for any work of art-for example, a film, a novel, a poem, a song-to have merit, it must be understandable to most people. essay6.0 GMAT/GRE Issue Task
92. Educators should base their assessment of students’ learning not on students’ grasp of facts but on the ability to explain the ideas, trends, and concepts that those facts illustrate. essay6.0 GMAT/GRE Issue Task
Governments should place few, if any, restrictions on scientific research and development. siamakd GMAT/GRE Issue Task
Governments should focus on solving the immediate problems of today rather than on trying to solve the anticipated problems of the future. ZahraT GMAT/GRE Issue Task
The well-being of a society is enhanced when many of its people question authority. siamakd GMAT/GRE Issue Task

The following appeared in a memo from the new vice president of Sartorian, a company that manufactures men's clothing."Five years ago, at a time when we had difficulties in obtaining reliable supplies of high quality wool fabric, we discontinued productio Sunyue sticky icon GMAT/GRE Argument Task
Governments should focus on solving the immediate problems of today rather than on trying to solve the anticipated problems of the future. siamakd sticky icon GMAT/GRE Issue Task
31 The following appeared in a letter to the editor of Parson City's local newspaper."In our region of Trillura, the majority of money spent on the schools that most students attend—the city-run public schools—comes from taxes that each city government co essay6.0 GMAT/GRE Argument Task
Educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and suppo Asish Kumar Panda GMAT/GRE Issue Task
Some people believe that government funding of the arts is necessary to ensure that the arts can flourish and be available to all people. Others believe that government funding of the arts threatens the integrity of the arts.Write a response in which you dormant GMAT/GRE Issue Task
In any field of inquiry, the beginner is more likely than the expert to make important contributions. Sunyue GMAT/GRE Issue Task
92. Educators should base their assessment of students’ learning not on students’ grasp of facts but on the ability to explain the ideas, trends, and concepts that those facts illustrate. essay6.0 GMAT/GRE Issue Task
College students should base their choice of a field of study on the availability of jobs in that field. aminn GMAT/GRE Issue Task
Homes in the northeastern United States, where winters are typically cold, have traditionally used oil as their major fuel for heating. Last year that region experienced twenty days with below-average temperatures, and local weather forecasters throughout ni1 GMAT/GRE Argument Task
Governments should place few, if any, restrictions on scientific research and development. siamakd GMAT/GRE Issue Task
essayE-rater's picture

Sentence: However, the author use no evidence to support the assumption.Lacking such evidence it is equally possible that the hormone level of mothers don't influence the offspring's. Thus, the author 's claim is not credible.
Description: The fragment author use no is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace use with verb, past tense

Sentence: To support the claim, the author cites three examples about the firstborn infant,firstborn humans and first-time mother monkey sequentially to prove that a positive relationship may be exists with birth order and the level of the hormone cortiso.
Error: cortiso Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: firstborn Suggestion: first born
Error: first-time Suggestion: first time

Sentence: Second, about the firstborn humans, the experiment is also not credible.It's entirely possible that the firstborn infant doesn't have playmates at home, so parents are their only friends.
Error: doesn't Suggestion: does not
Error: firstborn Suggestion: first born

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 413 350
No. of Characters: 1970 1500
No. of Different Words: 179 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.508 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.77 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.439 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 142 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 100 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 60 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.844 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.929 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.384 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.646 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.106 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

To prevent automated spam submissions leave this field empty.