On Balmer Island where mopeds serve as a popular form of transportation the population increases to 100 000 during the summer months To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians the town council of Balmer Island should limit the numb

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On Balmer Island, where mopeds serve as a popular form of transportation, the population increases to 100,000 during the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by the island's moped rental companies from 50 per day to 25 per day during the summer season. By limiting the number of rentals, the town council will attain the 50 percent annual reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year on the neighboring island of Seaville, when Seaville's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals.

The argument about reducing the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians could not support its result effectively. Ambiguities about the statistic numbers decrease the reliance on evidence, while the author could render strong evidence with better statistics. Furthermore, the author could persuade the readers with important reasons and different examples which were about the result of limiting on moped rentals.

Increasing the population to 100,000 during the summer months cannot justify the reason of increasing the number of accidents. Moreover, limiting the number of mopeds rented by the island’s moped rental companies to halve during the summer season is not persuasive. May be, decreasing the number of moped makes an irreversible damage that author does not consider carefully. It is more likely that by implementing this strategy, the most proportion of people have to fill moped over its capacity which will be dangerous situation for people. The author should take other key factors into account and render strong evidence for his argument.

It is more likely that there are several reasons for occurring accidents between mopeds and pedestrians that could be considered. Maybe, mopeds do not have standard measures and their drivers could not control the moped easily or some pedestrians do not pay attention to certain rules and make an accident. The writer could present strong evidence like rendering statistics about the amount of accidents that are occurred during summer months annually and their reasons.

Moreover, the author failed at his conclusion because maybe annual reduction in moped accidents at neighboring island of Seaville had several reasons that limiting on moped rental was one of them. 50 percent annual reduction is a significant number that cannot be occurred just by reducing the number of mopeds rented. The author could illustrate strong examples and could consider other areas that used the same strategy and decreased their accidents. In addition, the author could persuade the readers by giving power reasons about the consequence of limiting on moped rentals at recent years among neighboring island of Seaville.

In conclusion, the argument could not convince the readers about the advantages of limiting the number of moped rentals because of several ambiguities and weak points that has. The writer could render strong evidence about the benefits of implementation this strategy and could depict reasonable examples to convince his readers why limiting the number of moped rented has noticeable impact on reducing the percentage of accidents specially in summer months.

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Average: 7.2 (39 votes)
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that author do not consider carefully.
that author does not consider carefully.

Sentence: In conclusion, the argument could not convince the readers about the advantages of limiting the number of moped rentals because of several ambiguities and weak points that has.
Description: A verb 'to have', present tense, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a sentence terminator
Suggestion: replace has to have

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 400 350
No. of Characters: 2162 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.472 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.405 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.578 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 194 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 123 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 95 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.529 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.232 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.412 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.392 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.596 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.126 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5