The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.
The role of a leader is to guide its followers and compete with its competitors, be it in industry , government or any other field. The sense of competion is extreamly essential in dealing with your competitors, and promoting competion within a group leads to development of leader in the group. I strongly disagree with teaching young people to cooperate than to make them competative.
Competition helps in self development of a person, the person can be a child or a grown up. Healthy competition leads to smartness, keeness and inovation. These are key characteristics of a leader. Consider the example of today's competion in mobile phone sector. Because of such intense competion between them, there has been a such great innovation in such short time. No one can deny that Steve Jobs is a great innovator and a leader to lead Apple Cooperations to such great heights.
Because of this sense of competition, children learn to work harder and think smarter just to be edge ahead of their fellow classmates i.e. their competitors. In India, after completing 12th class student enroll for colleges. Today, the cuttoff have gone up to 99% for certaing degree in arts and commerce. Such high cuttoffs clearly mean they students are reaching new heights and is because of intense competition.
Young people need to be taught about how to become a leader, and how to compete with other leaders in their sectors. The journey to become leader can be completed only by competition not by cooperation. Cooperation should be focused upon when the person is already a leader and may need to cooperate with his followers to satisfy their needs and demands.
Sentence: Such high cuttoffs clearly mean they students are reaching new heights and is because of intense competition.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to they and students
Sentence: The sense of competion is extreamly essential in dealing with your competitors, and promoting competion within a group leads to development of leader in the group.
Error: competion Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: extreamly Suggestion: extremely
Sentence: I strongly disagree with teaching young people to cooperate than to make them competative.
Error: competative Suggestion: competitive
Sentence: Healthy competition leads to smartness, keeness and inovation.
Error: inovation Suggestion: innovation
Sentence: Consider the example of today's competion in mobile phone sector.
Error: competion Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Because of such intense competion between them, there has been a such great innovation in such short time.
Error: competion Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: No one can deny that Steve Jobs is a great innovator and a leader to lead Apple Cooperations to such great heights.
Error: innovator Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Today, the cuttoff have gone up to 99 for certaing degree in arts and commerce.
Error: certaing Suggestion: certain
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Words: 277 350
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.06 0.07
Better to put more contents to get higher marks. For issue essays, around 450 words, for argument essays, around 400 words.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 277 350
No. of Characters: 1341 1500
No. of Different Words: 159 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.08 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.841 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.733 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 95 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 72 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 46 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.312 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.342 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.062 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.3 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.512 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.06 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5