The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette.
"On Balmer Island, where mopes serve as a popular. Form of transportation, the population increases to 100,000 during the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving Mopeds and pedestrains, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of Mopeds rented by the Island,s Moped rental companies from 50 percent per day during the summer season. By limiting the number of rentals, the town council will attain the 50 percent annual reduction in Moped accidents that was achieved last year on the neighboring Island of Seaville, when Seaville's town council enforced similar limits on Moped rental.
Question: Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions wouls help to evaluate the recommendation.
Balmer Island is a place people live and Mopeds may well be the best popular form of trnsportation. The author of this article makes a number of unsubstantiated asumptions regarding to the caurse of accidents in Balmer Island. Based on these assumptions, the author makes a bold proposal to limit the number of Moped's rentals per 50 a day, this is intended to be a positive action, but it may fail to achieve this goal or even have the perverse effect of worsening the good attribute of Balmer Island.
The author's first mistake is to assume that the increase in population in Balmer Island by 100000 during the summer months is the reason/or cause of the accident. She claims that if their is a reduction in the population, will also reduce the accident does not follow. This is a classic case of confusing correlation with causation. Yes, their is an increase in population, but that may not be the caurse of the accident. The author has to find out what really is the reasonbehind the accident. Are their pedistrants who cross the road without looking carefully if their is a car coming or for some other reasons.
The claim that the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of Mopeds rented by the rental company is unsupported. In fact, if accidents has to stop, it should not be from reducing the rent to 50 perday. During the summer season, people may be with full of activities that makes them to be careless in their way of like, which may also be the reason that always leadd to the accident.
The conclusion that limiting the number of rentals, the council will attain the 50 percent annual reduction in Mopedds accidents that was achieved last year does not follow. In fact, accidents. That occoure may not be the high bumber of population or number of rentals. Even if Seaville Island and its town council has also enforced similar limits on Moped rentals is unsupported. Residents in Seavile Islnands are different from those in Balmer Island and the cause of the accident maynot be the same.
Ironically, if the author of this article is right about the course of the accident and why the reduction of the rentals is neccesary, in the long run may distroy the positive attributes of Balmer Island. After all, for how long will the reduction of rentals countinue every year. Ultimately, the author of this article is seeking the impossible-a quiet small Island where people have the right, and the reduction can not take place.
Despite the flaws in this authors argument, she may be correct that the increase in population and may well be the course of the accident. She could strengthen her argument by documenting its must important premise of data. For instance, by providing a survey repart that show the reasons of the accident, by asking the victimes what is actually the cause of the accident, her argument would be far more persuasive. Were this the case, her call for strict reduction of rental Moped in Balmer Island might be justified.
Sentence: She claims that if their is a reduction in the population, will also reduce the accident does not follow.
Description: The tag a determiner, possessive is not usually followed by is
Suggestion: Refer to their and is
Sentence: Yes, their is an increase in population, but that may not be the caurse of the accident.
Description: The fragment Yes , is not usually followed by their
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace their with there
Sentence: Are their pedistrants who cross the road without looking carefully if their is a car coming or for some other reasons.
Description: The fragment who cross the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace cross with verb, past tense
Description: The tag a determiner, possessive is not usually followed by is
Suggestion: Refer to their and is
Sentence: Despite the flaws in this authors argument, she may be correct that the increase in population and may well be the course of the accident.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and authors
Sentence: For instance, by providing a survey repart that show the reasons of the accident, by asking the victimes what is actually the cause of the accident, her argument would be far more persuasive.
Description: The fragment that show the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace show with verb, past tense
Sentence: Were this the case, her call for strict reduction of rental Moped in Balmer Island might be justified.
Description: The tag a determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by the
Suggestion: Refer to this and the
Sentence: Balmer Island is a place people live and Mopeds may well be the best popular form of trnsportation.
Error: trnsportation Suggestion: transportation
Sentence: The author of this article makes a number of unsubstantiated asumptions regarding to the caurse of accidents in Balmer Island.
Error: caurse Suggestion: cause
Error: asumptions Suggestion: assumptions
Sentence: Based on these assumptions, the author makes a bold proposal to limit the number of Moped's rentals per 50 a day, this is intended to be a positive action, but it may fail to achieve this goal or even have the perverse effect of worsening the good attribute of Balmer Island.
Error: perverse Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: During the summer season, people may be with full of activities that makes them to be careless in their way of like, which may also be the reason that always leadd to the accident.
Error: leadd Suggestion: lead
Sentence: That occoure may not be the high bumber of population or number of rentals.
Error: bumber Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: occoure Suggestion: occur
Sentence: Ironically, if the author of this article is right about the course of the accident and why the reduction of the rentals is neccesary, in the long run may distroy the positive attributes of Balmer Island.
Error: distroy Suggestion: destroy
Error: neccesary Suggestion: necessary
Sentence: After all, for how long will the reduction of rentals countinue every year.
Error: countinue Suggestion: continue
Sentence: Ultimately, the author of this article is seeking the impossible-a quiet small Island where people have the right, and the reduction can not take place.
Error: impossible-a Suggestion: impossible
Sentence: For instance, by providing a survey repart that show the reasons of the accident, by asking the victimes what is actually the cause of the accident, her argument would be far more persuasive.
Error: victimes Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: repart Suggestion: No alternate word
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 12 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 519 350
No. of Characters: 2407 1500
No. of Different Words: 224 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.773 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.638 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.481 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 182 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 111 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 78 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.625 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.827 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.708 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.307 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.538 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.117 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5