The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College."To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current

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The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.

"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

In the memo, the director argues to build a number of new dormitories. He cites various evidences to justify it. Although these evidences appear to bolster the director's argument,a meticulous analysis will show otherwise. So the director needs to cite certain specific evidences to make the argument more sound: first,the precise number of students entered the college recent and of who choose to live in dormitories .Second, whether the whole argument's price in the town has risen or not. Besides, it's necessary to show that the new dormitories will have some characteristics to absorb the students.

First, if the recent number of enrollment is so small, even it will double over the next 50 years, the existing dormitory space will still adequate enough to satisfy the whole students. Thus, it will weaken the argument. In contrast, if the space that the double number of the students occupy much bigger than the dormitory can offer, it's likely that the college should build new dormitories. However, in addition, the director needs to cite statistic numbers to show that nearly the whole students will choose to live in dormitories. Without these specific evidences, the director cannot convince me.

Second, it's indispensable for the director to demonstrate that whether the whole argument's price in the town has risen or not. This evidence, again, can go either direction.If the answer is yes, it may bolster the argument regarding students indeed do not have much money to rent apartment. However, if it shows the opposite result, the argument will not be supported. It's entirely possible that even if the average price of apartments in the town has risen, some apartments'price has down and may even lower the dormitories in college, for their location and poor transportation conditions. For these reasons,many students may choose to live in such off-campus houses.

Third, it's necessary for the director to explain that whether the new dormitories have attracting characteristics or not,such as new and advanced facilities. Depending on the result, the argument will be bolstered or enervated.

In sum the author needs to cites more specific evidences to support his argument such as the precise number of students enter the college now and of who choose to live in dormitories and whether the whole apartments' prices has risen n the town . Besides, it's also necessary to show that there are some attracting characteristics that will absorb the students. Without these evidence, the director cannot convince me on his view.

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Sentence: In sum the author needs to cites more specific evidences to support his argument such as the precise number of students enter the college now and of who choose to live in dormitories and whether the whole apartments' prices has risen n the town .
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to to and cites
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective

it's indispensable , it's necessary etc are not formal, better 'it is indispensable','it is necessary...'.

flaws:
No. of Different Words: 169 200
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.056 0.07

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 415 350
No. of Characters: 2077 1500
No. of Different Words: 169 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.513 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.005 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.685 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 151 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 115 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 87 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.51 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.341 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.515 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.056 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5