The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingharm College." To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrolment is growing and, based on current

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The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingharm College.
" To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrolment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham.
Question: Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or stregthen the argument.

Buckingham College dormitory may well be an attractive dormitory for students to live. But the author of this article makes a number of unsurbstantiated assumptions regarding the needs for new dormitory to be build. Based on these assumptions, the author makes a bold proposal regarding the building of new hostels and dormitory for students. Though this proposal is intended to have a good motive to facilitate the growth of the school, it may fail to achieve this goal or even have the perverse effect of worsening the positive attributes of Buckingham dormitory.

The authors first mistake is to assume that Buckingham will double in the next 50 years. She claims that in building new hostels it will reduce the population of students staying off campus. While dormitory space is inadequate and while the increase in population. This is a classic case of confusing correlation with causation. It does not follow that in the next 50 years their will be an increase in population of students in the campus. The dormitory may not have space or other wise, students prefer to stay and/or live off campus. Their may be reasons for that, may be because of hostel rules and regulation. Monitoring of students lives may be driving students out from the dormetory or for any other reasons.

The claim that the average rent for apartments in the town has risen and students will find it difficult to afford off campus housing, is simmilarly unsurbstantiated. Yes, their may be an increase in the rent of hostels off campus. It does not follow that students will find it difficult to pay the rent. Off cos, the students are not using their money to pay the house rent. They have sponsors who will help them when it is necessary.

The conclusion that new dormitory would attract students and when new dormitories are built, that more students are likely to enroll at Buckingham hostile is totaly unsurported. Yes, the new dormitory which is under proposal have not been executed,it may be attractive in the future, but that will not make students to enroll as long as their are stringent rules curtailing students from doing what they like. Such students like to leave the hosteles to go for parties at night which is (truancy) without the permission of the hostele warden.

Ironicaly, if the author is correct that new hostels and dormitories will attract new students to Buckingham. New space in the hostell serves as an element that galvanize students to enroll in the hostel. It may fail to achieve this or even worsen the lifes of Buckingham dormitory.

Despite the flaws in this authors argument. She may be correct in her assement for why it is essential to build new dormitories and that will attract new prospective students in the hostel. She could strengthen her argument by providing its most important premise with data. For instance, by providing a survey results from students, indicating that they did indeed choose to live off campus because of Buckingham dormitory is too small or its very old and needs to be renovated. Her argument would have been far more persuasive. Were this the case, her call for more restrictive building of new dormetories may be justified.

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Average: 5 (4 votes)
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Sentence: It does not follow that in the next 50 years their will be an increase in population of students in the campus.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a determiner, possessive
Suggestion: Refer to years and their

Sentence: Yes, their may be an increase in the rent of hostels off campus.
Description: The fragment Yes , is not usually followed by their
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace their with there

Sentence: Despite the flaws in this authors argument.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and authors

Sentence: The claim that the average rent for apartments in the town has risen and students will find it difficult to afford off campus housing, is simmilarly unsurbstantiated.
Error: simmilarly Suggestion: similarly
Error: unsurbstantiated Suggestion: unsubstantiated

Sentence: The conclusion that new dormitory would attract students and when new dormitories are built, that more students are likely to enroll at Buckingham hostile is totaly unsurported.
Error: totaly Suggestion: total
Error: unsurported Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: She may be correct in her assement for why it is essential to build new dormitories and that will attract new prospective students in the hostel.
Error: assement Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
No. of Words: 540 350
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 29 15
No. of Words: 540 350
No. of Characters: 2586 1500
No. of Different Words: 221 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.821 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.789 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.648 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 178 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 140 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 105 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 66 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.621 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.348 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.552 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.299 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.512 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.131 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5