You are hereThe following appeared in a memo from the marketing director of Top Dog Pet Stores. "Five years ago Fish Emporium started advertising in the magazine Exotic Pets Monthly. Their stores saw sales increase by 15 percent after their ads began appearing in th

The following appeared in a memo from the marketing director of Top Dog Pet Stores. "Five years ago Fish Emporium started advertising in the magazine Exotic Pets Monthly. Their stores saw sales increase by 15 percent after their ads began appearing in th


shina's picture

By shina - Posted on 09 September 2012

Essay topic: 

The following appeared in a memo from the marketing director of Top Dog Pet Stores.

"Five years ago Fish Emporium started advertising in the magazine Exotic Pets Monthly. Their stores saw sales increase by 15 percent after their ads began appearing in the magazine. The three Fish Emporium stores in Gulf City saw an even greater increase than that. Because Top Dog Pet Stores is based in Gulf City, it seems clear that we should start placing our own ads in Exotic Pets Monthly. If we do so, we will be sure to reverse the recent trend of declining sales and start making a profit again."

the 'top dog' marketing director proposed start advertising in the magazine exotic pets monthly to increased the profit. the reasons are first , five year ago a fish emporium started advertisement and sell is increased by 15 percent. 2nd reason is given by the three fish emporium stores in gulf city saw even greater increase than that. reading this argument in starting it seems true but when the argument is deeply analyze there are flaws, it require more evidence to support the argument

firstly, there is no information provided about the fish emporium store , may be the store provide some discount offer, or there may be another item for cell like antique pieces, gift store etc. the information about the fish store is needed to compare the business.

secondly, comparison between a fish emporium store and a dog store is worthless. both are the different things. some people like fishes as a pet and some like dogs or both. the selling of pets in the city is dependent only on the interest of the people. dogs as pet demand more expenses and fishes demand less. may be people prefer fishes as a pet.

moreover, the fish emporium advertised five year ago .it is worthless to compare the situation now and five year ago. furthermore, the selling statics of fish emporium is not provided, may be the emporium sell was very low and after the advertisement it increase 15 percent, may be selling is still average, or below average.

15 percent increment in sell is not a huge profit , it demands statics to show before and after the no. of person who purchases fish emporium. may be the advertisement cost is high.

in sum, the argument needs more evidence to support the statement. the inference drawn by the argument is fallacious. to bolster the argument the author should provide information about the store situation, statics of store and the interest of the person. after proper analyze the situation we can get the desired outcome.

Average: 5 (7 votes)
Tags
More essays by this user:
Looking for speaking partner/tutor/chat? Join the instant conversation now!
    
Something about you
Choose a nickname and enter at least one ID (Skype, MSN, QQ, ICQ or Yahoo) if you want to be listed!
Registered users only
Loading...
(180 users watching; 1 users on the list)
People online
Nickname Sex L Country Favorite topics Contact
Ben yo iran

User comment: I just want to chat in English for a while to improve my speaking skills

A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position fiddo
"A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, the proposed new jazz club in Monroe, the C-Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popul mehmetycaliskan...
The following is a letter to the head of the tourism bureau on the island of Tria."Erosion of beach sand along the shores of Tria Island is a serious threat to our island and our tourist industry. In order to stop the erosion, we should charge people for manishashah sticky icon
"As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate." mabs239
"A powerful business leader has far more opportunity to influence the course of a community or a nation than does any government official." Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons a thakur.shikha1@...
Governments are justified in circumventing laws when doing so is vital to the protection of national security. prakash
The following appeared in a magazine article about planning for retirement. "Because of its spectacular natural beauty and consistent climate, Clearview should be a top choice for anyone seeking a place to retire. As a bonus, housing costs in Clearview ha delistreet
The effectiveness of a country's leaders is best measured by examining the well-being of that country's citizens.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position Agata
People who works in the arts and humanities should earn less than those who work in the sciences and economics because of the benefit of the arts and humanities to the population is less important than that of the scientific or economic endeavors.ISSUE ES Guillaume_8667
The effectiveness of a country's leaders is best measured by examining the well-being of that country's citizens.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position patakon

Term
In any field of inquiry, the beginner is more likely than the expert to make important contributions darsh GMAT/GRE Issue Task
The following appeared in a memorandum from the planning department of an electric power company."Several recent surveys indicate that home owners are increasingly eager to conserve energy. At the same time, manufacturers are now marketing many home appli Vanan GMAT/GRE
Techno corporation is our top pick for the investment this term. We urge all our clients to invest in this new company. For the first time in ten years, a company that has developed a stellite technology has been approvd by the FTA to compete with current imrami sticky icon GMAT/GRE Argument Task
the following appeared in a letter to the editor of a Batavia newspaper."The department of agriculture in Batavia reports that the number of dairy farms throughout the country is now 25 percent greater than it was 10 years ago. During this same time perio nbkru2f GMAT/GRE Argument Task
Commuters complain that increased rush-hour traffic on Blue Highway between the suburbs and the city center has doubled their commuting time. The favored proposal of the motorists' lobby is to widen the highway, adding an additional lane of traffic. Oppon Vanan sticky icon GMAT/GRE
scientific theories which most people consider as fact almost invariably prove to be inaccurate. Thus one shud look upon any information described as’factual’ with skepticism since it may well be proven false in the future.Write an essy in which u take a Vanan GMAT/GRE
Although innovations such as video, computers, and the Internet seem to offer schools improved methods for instructing students, these technologies all too often distract from real learning. - GRE Issue 119 six11 GMAT/GRE
People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. I Agata GMAT/GRE
Issue Topic #2: School should do more to prepare students for the non-academic aspects of adulthood. soodimilani GMAT/GRE
"Only once one has known real sadness can one feel true happiness." prifriendz sticky icon GMAT/GRE

Term
Governments should focus on solving the immediate problems of today rather than on trying to solve the anticipated problems of the future. siamakd sticky icon GMAT/GRE Issue Task
Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by the Palean people. Recently, however, archa Sunyue GMAT/GRE Argument Task
Governments should focus on solving the immediate problems of today rather than on trying to solve the anticipated problems of the future. ZahraT GMAT/GRE Issue Task
In any field—business, politics, education, government—those in power should stepdown after five years. siamakd GMAT/GRE Issue Task
Educators should take students' interests into account when planning the content of the courses they teach. dormant sticky icon GMAT/GRE Issue Task
In any field of inquiry, the beginner is more likely than the expert to make important contributions siamakd GMAT/GRE Issue Task
Young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition. siamakd sticky icon GMAT/GRE Issue Task
The most effective way to understand contemporary culture is to analyze the trends of its youth. siamakd GMAT/GRE Issue Task
The following appeared in a letter from a homeowner to a friend."Of the two leading real estate firms in our town—Adams Realty and Fitch Realty—Adams Realty is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents; in contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work svanth GMAT/GRE Argument Task
Nations should pass laws to preserve any remaining wilderness areas in their natural state, even if these areas could be developed for economic gain.Write a response in which you discuss your views on the policy and explain your reasoning for the position svanth GMAT/GRE Issue Task

Educators should take students' interests into account when planning the content of the courses they teach. dormant sticky icon GMAT/GRE Issue Task
Young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition. siamakd sticky icon GMAT/GRE Issue Task
Governments should focus on solving the immediate problems of today rather than on trying to solve the anticipated problems of the future. siamakd sticky icon GMAT/GRE Issue Task
Some people believe that government funding of the arts is necessary to ensure that the arts can flourish and be available to all people. Others believe that government funding of the arts threatens the integrity of the arts.Write a response in which you dormant GMAT/GRE Issue Task
For many years the city of Grandview has provided annual funding for the Grandview Symphony. Last year, however, private contributions to the symphony increased by 200 percent and attendance at the symphony's concerts-in-the-park series doubled. The symph aminn GMAT/GRE Argument Task
College students should base their choice of a field of study on the availability of jobs in that field. aminn GMAT/GRE Issue Task
Homes in the northeastern United States, where winters are typically cold, have traditionally used oil as their major fuel for heating. Last year that region experienced twenty days with below-average temperatures, and local weather forecasters throughout ni1 GMAT/GRE Argument Task
The effectiveness of a country's leaders is best measured by examining the well-being of that country's citizens. aminn GMAT/GRE Issue Task
Governments should focus on solving the immediate problems of today rather than on trying to solve the anticipated problems of the future. ZahraT GMAT/GRE Issue Task
In any field—business, politics, education, government—those in power should stepdown after five years. siamakd GMAT/GRE Issue Task
essayE-rater's picture

Sentence: the 'top dog' marketing director proposed start advertising in the magazine exotic pets monthly to increased the profit. the reasons are first , five year ago a fish emporium started advertisement and sell is increased by 15 percent.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to magazine and exotic
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to to and increased

Sentence: 2nd reason is given by the three fish emporium stores in gulf city saw even greater increase than that. reading this argument in starting it seems true but when the argument is deeply analyze there are flaws, it require more evidence to support the argument
Description: The fragment it require more is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace require with verb, past tense

Sentence: firstly, there is no information provided about the fish emporium store , may be the store provide some discount offer, or there may be another item for cell like antique pieces, gift store etc. the information about the fish store is needed to compare the business.
Description: The fragment store provide some is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace provide with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular

Sentence: moreover, the fish emporium advertised five year ago .it is worthless to compare the situation now and five year ago. furthermore, the selling statics of fish emporium is not provided, may be the emporium sell was very low and after the advertisement it increase 15 percent, may be selling is still average, or below average.
Description: The word sell is not usually used as a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to sell , did you mean cell
Description: The fragment it increase 15 is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace increase with verb, past tense

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Different Words: 149 200

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 7 15
No. of Words: 332 350
No. of Characters: 1567 1500
No. of Different Words: 149 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.269 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.72 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.488 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 113 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 89 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 56 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 25 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 47.429 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.112 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.857 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.496 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.919 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.165 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5

To prevent automated spam submissions leave this field empty.