The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Quiot Manufacturing."During the past year, Quiot Manufacturing had 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than at the nearby Panoply Industries plant, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than

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The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Quiot Manufacturing.
"During the past year, Quiot Manufacturing had 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than at the nearby Panoply Industries plant, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts say that significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents are fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers. Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Quiot and thereby increase productivity, we should shorten each of our three work shifts by one hour so that employees will get adequate amounts of sleep."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

In the argument,the author argues that Quiot Manufacturing should shorten each of our three work shifts by one hour just like nearby Panoply Industries plant to offer employees adequate amounts of sleep so as to decrease the accidents. He cites various reasons to bolster it. However, none of these are convincing because the claim relays on a serious of unsubstantiated assumption which render them unconvincing on their stand.

First, the author unfairly relays on a assumption that the two firm share the same amount of working per year. So, he thinks that the more accidents occurred means to more problems in their staffs. However, absent evidences to support it. Thus, it is possible that there are much more workers in the Quiot Manufacturing which will bring more potential possible of kinds of accidents even though they share the similar safety management measures.

Second, the argument also unfairly assumes that the accidents are result from fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers due to its longer work shifts. So, the author wants to shorten each of our three work shifts by one hour to offer more time for their workers to sleep and finally improving their productivity. However, the author provides no evidence to support the points, for example, an investigation result from their works about their physical conditions when they work. Lacking the evidence that it is the case, it is entirely possible that Quiot Manufacturing opposes poor safety facilities and measure to protest their staffs from certain factors. Or, maybe their workers lack some safety awareness.

Third, the argument unfairly assumes that the shorten the each of our three work shifts for these worker, they will have more comfortable rest. However, i think that shorten the each of our three work shifts will lead to more frequently work shift which may make the workers more tired. Imagining, after only one hour's rest, they have to go on their their work.

In sum, the argument is unconvincing to bolster its claim. The author needs to provides more evidences to substantiate these assumptions that 1) the two firm share the same amount of working per year.2)the accidents are result from fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers due to its longer work shifts.3)he shorten the each of our three work shifts for these worker, they will have more comfortable rest.

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Average: 8 (4 votes)
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Sentence: Imagining, after only one hour's rest, they have to go on their their work.
Description: The fragment their their contains a repeated word
Suggestion: Delete a possible duplicate word:

Sentence: The author needs to provides more evidences to substantiate these assumptions that 1 the two firm share the same amount of working per year.2the accidents are result from fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers due to its longer work shifts.3he shorten the each of our three work shifts for these worker, they will have more comfortable rest.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to to and provides

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Try: Do not use "So, However,Thus" that much.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 390 350
No. of Characters: 1931 1500
No. of Different Words: 170 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.444 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.951 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.487 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 133 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 95 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 55 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.941 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.882 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.647 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.351 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.558 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.105 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5