The following appeared in the opinion section of a national newsmagazine: “To reverse the deterioration of the postal service, the government should raise the price of postage stamps. This solution will no doubt prove effective, since the price increase w
The argument claims that in order to reverse the deterioration of the postal service, the government should increase the price of the postal stamps. Moreover, the author assumes that this rise in price will be effective and would no doubt increase the revenues of the service and would also reduce the volume of the mail. Furthermore, the author thinks that this step would eliminate the strain on the current system of posts and will improve the morale of the system. The argument manipulates the facts and conveys a distorted view of the situation. The conclusion of the argument relies on assumptions for which there is no clear evidence. Hence, the argument is weak and has several flaws.
Firstly, the argument readily assumes that rising of the prices will result in increase in the revenue of the postal system. This is a weak assumption made in the argument that increase in price is directly proportional to increase in revenue. When the price of any product is increased, it is not mandatory that people will purchase the product, thereby increasing the revenue. When the prices are raised, consumers will automatically leave that product and purchase that product which is less priced compared to that of the previous article. For instance, ABC Co. increased the article from Rs.10 to Rs.20, while XYZ Co. sells the same article worth Rs.15, then naturally all the customers of ABC CO. will turn to XYZ Co. as the price is low. Therefore, increase in price of the postal stamp will not increase the revenue, but would rather decrease the revenue of the postal system.
Secondly, the argument claims that increase in price will not only result in larger revenues, but also result in decrease in the quantity or volume of the mail, thereby eliminating the pressure on the system. This is another very weak and unsupported claim as the argument demonstrates relation between price of the stamp and pressure on the present system. Increase in the price stamps may reduce the volume of each mail, but what if many mails are sent. Ultimately, the pressure is same in both the ways. Hence, the argument is more of a wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence.
Finally, the argument could have been considerably strengthened if any more changes in the system had made such as introducing any schemes like more the number of mails, the more discount the customer will receive. Without much information and evidences, the argument is weak.
In conclusion, the argument is flawed due to the above-mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing. In order to assess the merits of a certain situation, it is essential to have full knowledge about the contributing factors. Unfortunately, this particular argument lacks many points. Hence, the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate.
Comments
Gram check
Sentence: The argument claims that in order to reverse the deterioration of the postal service, the government should increase the price of the postal stamps.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: Moreover, the author assumes that this rise in price will be effective and would no doubt increase the revenues of the service and would also reduce the volume of the mail.
Description: The fragment doubt increase the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace increase with verb, past tense
Sentence: Furthermore, the author thinks that this step would eliminate the strain on the current system of posts and will improve the morale of the system.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: The argument manipulates the facts and conveys a distorted view of the situation.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: The conclusion of the argument relies on assumptions for which there is no clear evidence.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: Hence, the argument is weak and has several flaws.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: Firstly, the argument readily assumes that rising of the prices will result in increase in the revenue of the postal system.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: This is a weak assumption made in the argument that increase in price is directly proportional to increase in revenue.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: When the price of any product is increased, it is not mandatory that people will purchase the product, thereby increasing the revenue.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: When the prices are raised, consumers will automatically leave that product and purchase that product which is less priced compared to that of the previous article.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: For instance, ABC Co. increased the article from Rs.10 to Rs.20, while XYZ Co. sells the same article worth Rs.15, then naturally all the customers of ABC CO. will turn to XYZ Co. as the price is low.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, proper, genitive
Suggestion: Refer to worth and Rs
Sentence: Therefore, increase in price of the postal stamp will not increase the revenue, but would rather decrease the revenue of the postal system.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: Secondly, the argument claims that increase in price will not only result in larger revenues, but also result in decrease in the quantity or volume of the mail, thereby eliminating the pressure on the system.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: This is another very weak and unsupported claim as the argument demonstrates relation between price of the stamp and pressure on the present system.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: Increase in the price stamps may reduce the volume of each mail, but what if many mails are sent.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: Ultimately, the pressure is same in both the ways.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: Hence, the argument is more of a wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence.
Description: The tag a qualifier, pre is not usually followed by of
Suggestion: Refer to more and of
Sentence: Finally, the argument could have been considerably strengthened if any more changes in the system had made such as introducing any schemes like more the number of mails, the more discount the customer will receive.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: Without much information and evidences, the argument is weak.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: In conclusion, the argument is flawed due to the above-mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: In order to assess the merits of a certain situation, it is essential to have full knowledge about the contributing factors.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: Unfortunately, this particular argument lacks many points.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: Hence, the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate.
No grammatical errors
spelling check
Sentence: The argument claims that in order to reverse the deterioration of the postal service, the government should increase the price of the postal stamps.
No spelling errors
Sentence: Moreover, the author assumes that this rise in price will be effective and would no doubt increase the revenues of the service and would also reduce the volume of the mail.
No spelling errors
Sentence: Furthermore, the author thinks that this step would eliminate the strain on the current system of posts and will improve the morale of the system.
No spelling errors
Sentence: The argument manipulates the facts and conveys a distorted view of the situation.
No spelling errors
Sentence: The conclusion of the argument relies on assumptions for which there is no clear evidence.
No spelling errors
Sentence: Hence, the argument is weak and has several flaws.
No spelling errors
Sentence: Firstly, the argument readily assumes that rising of the prices will result in increase in the revenue of the postal system.
No spelling errors
Sentence: This is a weak assumption made in the argument that increase in price is directly proportional to increase in revenue.
No spelling errors
Sentence: When the price of any product is increased, it is not mandatory that people will purchase the product, thereby increasing the revenue.
No spelling errors
Sentence: When the prices are raised, consumers will automatically leave that product and purchase that product which is less priced compared to that of the previous article.
No spelling errors
Sentence: For instance, ABC Co. increased the article from Rs.10 to Rs.20, while XYZ Co. sells the same article worth Rs.15, then naturally all the customers of ABC CO. will turn to XYZ Co. as the price is low.
No spelling errors
Sentence: Therefore, increase in price of the postal stamp will not increase the revenue, but would rather decrease the revenue of the postal system.
No spelling errors
Sentence: Secondly, the argument claims that increase in price will not only result in larger revenues, but also result in decrease in the quantity or volume of the mail, thereby eliminating the pressure on the system.
No spelling errors
Sentence: This is another very weak and unsupported claim as the argument demonstrates relation between price of the stamp and pressure on the present system.
No spelling errors
Sentence: Increase in the price stamps may reduce the volume of each mail, but what if many mails are sent.
Error: may Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Ultimately, the pressure is same in both the ways.
No spelling errors
Sentence: Hence, the argument is more of a wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence.
No spelling errors
Sentence: Finally, the argument could have been considerably strengthened if any more changes in the system had made such as introducing any schemes like more the number of mails, the more discount the customer will receive.
No spelling errors
Sentence: Without much information and evidences, the argument is weak.
No spelling errors
Sentence: In conclusion, the argument is flawed due to the above-mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing.
Error: above-mentioned Suggestion: abovementioned
Sentence: In order to assess the merits of a certain situation, it is essential to have full knowledge about the contributing factors.
No spelling errors
Sentence: Unfortunately, this particular argument lacks many points.
No spelling errors
Sentence: Hence, the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate.
Error: unsubstantiated Suggestion: No alternate word
Full evaluation
Well, you did a good job. almost perfect.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 - 6.0 out of 6
Category: Excellent Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 466 350
No. of Characters: 2283 1500
No. of Different Words: 201 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.646 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.899 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.657 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 171 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 125 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 87 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.261 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.138 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.522 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.334 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.521 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.109 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
rate this essay plz.. it is from my CAT prep