The following recommendation was made by the president and administrative staff of Grove College, a private institution, to the college's governing committee.
"Recently, there have been discussions about ending Grove College's century-old tradition of all-female education by admitting male students into our programs. At a recent faculty meeting, a majority of faculty members voted in favor of co-education, arguing that it would encourage more students to apply to Grove. However, Grove students, both past and present, are against the idea of coeducation. Eighty percent of the students responding to a survey conducted by the student government wanted the school to remain all female, and over half of the alumnae who answered a separate survey also opposed coeducation. Therefore, we recommend maintaining Grove College's tradition of all-female education. We predict that keeping the college all-female will improve morale among students and convince alumnae to keep supporting the college financially."
The president of the admistrative staff of Groove's College recommends that the college should maintain the tradition of all-female education. This, recommendation was based on the results of the survey conducted among the students and the alumnae of the college. The recommendation of the president might seem plausible, however, stands of the weak assumptions.
Firstly and the most importantly, the president's recommendation is based on the assumption that the most of the financial support to college comes from the aluminae. Since, there is no evidence of such an assumption. The president should have added a few financial numbers to make his recommendation more cogent. Also, as the faculty argued that there will be surge in the number of applications, if boys were to be admitted in the college. This might have bolstered the financials sincee there will be increase in the revenues from the admission applications.
Secondly, the recommendation stands on the result of the survey conducted by student government. There might be a possiblity that the only a few number of students and aluminae have responded to the survey. The president should have also considered the total participation of the students and alumnae. Hence, there might be a case that only a paltry number of students have participated in the survey. Hence, weakening the recommendation.
Lastly, the survey was conducted by the student government. Since, the most of the students and alumnae are females, there might be biased decision. It is also quite possible that student government might have surveyed only such students and women. Hence, could make the survey unfruitful. The president should have based his decision on the surveys the students among the other co-ed colleges to make more prudent decision and recommeendation.
Thus, president should have added more facts and evidences on the financials and should have surveyed other co-ed colleges to make his recommendation more cogent.
Sentence: The president of the admistrative staff of Groove's College recommends that the college should maintain the tradition of all-female education.
Error: admistrative Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Firstly and the most importantly, the president's recommendation is based on the assumption that the most of the financial support to college comes from the aluminae.
Error: aluminae Suggestion: alumnae
Sentence: This might have bolstered the financials sincee there will be increase in the revenues from the admission applications.
Error: sincee Suggestion: since
Sentence: There might be a possiblity that the only a few number of students and aluminae have responded to the survey.
Error: possiblity Suggestion: possibility
Error: aluminae Suggestion: alumnae
Sentence: The president should have based his decision on the surveys the students among the other co-ed colleges to make more prudent decision and recommeendation.
Error: recommeendation Suggestion: recommendation
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- not OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 311 350
No. of Characters: 1627 1500
No. of Different Words: 121 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.199 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.232 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.964 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 116 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 91 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 71 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.368 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.149 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.579 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.368 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.558 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.108 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5