The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company.
"According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than in any other year. And yet the percentage of positive reviews by movie reviewers about specific Super Screen movies actually increased during the past year. Clearly, the contents of these reviews are not reaching enough of our prospective viewers. Thus, the problem lies not with the quality of our movies but with the public's lack of awareness that movies of good quality are available. Super Screen should therefore allocate a greater share of its budget next year to reaching the public through advertising."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The argument with recommendaion that increase the budget next year to reaching the public through advertisement is rather weak. It is based on the premises that fewer people attended their movies during the past year, that the percentage of positive reviews by mover reviewers about some movies just increased last year, that the contents of these reveiws are not reaching enough of the prospective viewers, and that the problem is people's lack of the awareness of the good quality of the movies. However, in order to make the conclusion valid, there are many questions needed to be asked as explained inthe folloeing paragraphs.
First, do the reviews by those reviewers concrete enough to ensure the quality of the movies? The reviews may be based on the professional point of view about the scene, the performance of each characters, and the stories, and well-known as disinterest and proficient. Then the reason of decrease of viewers may be as stated in the argument. On the other hand, if the increase in rate of positive reviews came from the notorious reviews, commenting without the sense of responsibility often, then the called increase is senseless, leaving the conclusion in doubt.
Moveover, what was the part wthin the total budget used on advertisement? The director claimed that the money is not enough and advised there should be more, based on the logically flawed argument. Then, what was really the current condition? If there was just few, then the ask might be justified. If the payment last year on advertising was very high, on the contrary, then the central problem might be anything but lack of funding on advertisement. Though uncertain about the true situation, the dearth of explanation is worth suspicion of the motive of the director.
In addition, the really crucial question is what is the quality of the movies. If they are good, as asserted in the argument, then the problem could be lack of awareness and the solution should be more exposure to the public. On the other hand, what if the decrease of the viewers was the result of bad quality of the movies such as stories lack of creativity? The resolution of this predicament whould not be simply inceasing advertisement. Leaving the most essential question unanwsered worsen the reliability of the argument more.
In the end, the argument is rather weak. However, if the above questions are answered with details, it will be greatly reinforced. Therefore, there is no way to simply accept it as truth. Don't adopt the recommendation until further evidences and demonstration.
Sentence: The argument with recommendaion that increase the budget next year to reaching the public through advertisement is rather weak.
Description: The fragment that increase the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace increase with verb, past tense
Sentence: The reviews may be based on the professional point of view about the scene, the performance of each characters, and the stories, and well-known as disinterest and proficient.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to each and characters
Sentence: The argument with recommendaion that increase the budget next year to reaching the public through advertisement is rather weak.
Error: recommendaion Suggestion: recommendation
Sentence: It is based on the premises that fewer people attended their movies during the past year, that the percentage of positive reviews by mover reviewers about some movies just increased last year, that the contents of these reveiws are not reaching enough of the prospective viewers, and that the problem is people's lack of the awareness of the good quality of the movies.
Error: reveiws Suggestion: reviews
Sentence: However, in order to make the conclusion valid, there are many questions needed to be asked as explained inthe folloeing paragraphs.
Error: folloeing Suggestion: following
Error: inthe Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Moveover, what was the part wthin the total budget used on advertisement?
Error: wthin Suggestion: within
Sentence: The resolution of this predicament whould not be simply inceasing advertisement.
Error: inceasing Suggestion: increasing
Error: whould Suggestion: would
Sentence: Leaving the most essential question unanwsered worsen the reliability of the argument more.
Error: unanwsered Suggestion: unanswered
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.273 0.35
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.033 0.07
You may review the writing pattern.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 426 350
No. of Characters: 2086 1500
No. of Different Words: 199 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.543 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.897 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.72 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 151 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 115 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.364 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.96 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.591 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.273 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.489 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.033 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5