Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free

Essay topics:

Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.

Formal education at every society has certain responsibility to rear students in a right way in order to become appropriate members of society. So it sets particular objects which might have seemed that student’s minds and spirits will be limited. While one of main duties of formal education is that providing students with the golden opportunity to have equal method of learning.

In some education systems, students enforce to follow certain resources to learn special majors and their teachers induce them to memorize the content of boring books instead of illustrate their creativity. For example, education systems in developing countries like Iran are very different from those in developed countries like Norway. Teachers in Iran put students under tremendous pressure to do their homework and restrain student’s minds with solving difficult math problems based on certain solutions. They have to tolerate stressful situations in their schools and prepare themselves for their entrance exams for going to university. The most proportion of Iranian students does not have enough time to be free for themselves and do any things that they want which have profound impact on their future life.

While students who live in developed countries like Norway, do not have any stress for their exams and their education systems devote particular time to educate them how find their abilities and use them in a right way. Although their formal education set distinguished principles for its students, there are decent courses for students to learn specific skills like being creative. Students are taught how to use these kinds of abilities in their free time which helps them to be eminent entrepreneurships in their later life. These kinds of formal educations in developed countries make an effort to discover their student’s talents through setting them free during their education life.

In addition, formal educations in developed countries take key factors into account when they want to set their long term vision in order to rear right persons for their societies. They pay utmost attention to their students mind and allow them to use their mind for solving problems. For instance, students would be able free in their classrooms and find new solutions for their math problems instead of copying their teacher answers. Their formal educations adopt flexible strategy to teach their students and are far from those are implemented in developing countries.

In conclusion, the purpose of formal education is guidance students to find their interesting majors so it has certain rules to improve student’s talents. The most percentage of formal education systems in developing countries tend to adopt boring and difficult strategy in order to limit student’s minds and destroy their talents which is different from strategies implemented in formal education systems in developed countries. At developed countries formal education make a balance between running its own principles and setting students free.

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Average: 6.8 (52 votes)
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While one of main duties of formal education is that providing students with the golden opportunity to have equal method of learning.
Suggestion: While one of main duties of formal education is providing students with the golden opportunity to have equal method of learning.

Think why 'that' should be removed? if you really want to put 'that', how to correct the sentence?

Sentence: In some education systems, students enforce to follow certain resources to learn special majors and their teachers induce them to memorize the content of boring books instead of illustrate their creativity.
Suggestion: In some education systems, students are forced to follow certain resources to learn special majors, and their teachers induce them to memorize the content of boring books instead of illustrating their creativity.

Sentence: While students who live in developed countries like Norway, do not have any stress for their exams and their education systems devote particular time to educate them how find their abilities and use them in a right way.
Description: The fragment how find their is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace find with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular

Sentence: They pay utmost attention to their students mind and allow them to use their mind for solving problems.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: students' mind

Sentence: At developed countries formal education make a balance between running its own principles and setting students free.
Description: The fragment education make a is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace make with verb, past tense

In conclusion, the purpose of formal education is guidance students to find...
Suggestion: In conclusion, the purpose of formal education is guiding students to find...

The most percentage of formal education systems in developing countries tend to adopt boring and difficult strategy in order to limit student’s minds and destroy their talents which is different from strategies implemented in formal education systems in developed countries.
Description: 'which' refers to talents? or formal education systems? or The most percentage?

'Which' is not used properly. Check online how to use 'which','that'.

Sentence: Students are taught how to use these kinds of abilities in their free time which helps them to be eminent entrepreneurships in their later life.
Error: entrepreneurships Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2

You have some hidden grammatical issues but you didn't realize them. You may read a good grammar book.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 471 350
No. of Characters: 2510 1500
No. of Different Words: 216 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.659 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.329 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.637 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 194 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 158 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 111 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 74 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.789 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.379 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.368 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.356 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.557 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.142 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5