"Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza. There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza. Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In the past two years there has been a decline in the number of shoppers visiting Central Plaza .The arguer states that this is due to the increasing number of skateboarders. The arguer also points out that there has been an increase in litter and vandalism. According to the arguer prohibiting skateboarders will bring back the shoppers. This recommendation is plausible and should be discussed further.
First, it has been mentioned that there has been a decrease in the number of shoppers but no further information is provided. Two years is a long time and significant developments might have taken place for example a new shopping complex might have been constructed in the vicinity and customers prefer it too the Plaza. Also steadily decreasing footfall might also point towards economic trends present in the city maybe there is a recession. If the above few assumptions fail to satisfy then we have to look at skateboarders having a significant negative influence.
Second, a detailed survey must be carried out the paragraph only states “many” shopkeepers and doesn’t provide any percentage or the methodology .Also shopkeepers are linking the rise in vandalism and litter to skateboarders, again no valid arguments have been provided, maybe there is a shortage of janitorial staff due to the economic downturn. It seems skateboarders are being the scapegoat. I recommend that a proper survey of shoppers must be done, only then we can provide significant evidence against any issue. We should not hold any preconceived ideas till then.
Thirdly, if we assume that all the above mentioned arguments are true and skateboarders are the major cause of decline. Is simply banning them going to provide us a solution, will shoppers come back to Central Plaza? Maybe but we can’t be sure, there must be added incentives like discounts or new and exclusive products to lure buyer. A complete survey must be done before arriving at any conclusion.
Sentence: Two years is a long time and significant developments might have taken place for example a new shopping complex might have been constructed in the vicinity and customers prefer it too the Plaza.
Description: The fragment Two years is not usually followed by is
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace is with are
Flaws:
Better to have a conclusion paragraph.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 321 350
No. of Characters: 1599 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.233 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.981 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.861 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 111 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 67 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.062 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.535 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.318 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.521 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.142 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5