3. Educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
The author claims that students that seems to have little chance of success in their field of study which they are pursuing should be dissuaded by the educational institution. However, this essay contends that educational institution should not let students dream down because of what they predict at that moment.
Admittedly, educational institution has profound experience over hundreds of students for a long time. Due to their experience, they will be likely to acknowledge whether the student has a knack in his or her field of study. Thus, they can reduce the chances of failure and lead the students into a right way in which they seem to be good at and will be more likely to succeed. For instance, there is a Korean skater who won several medals in a long-distance skating several years ago. The odd point that everyone had was that he was somewhat older than the average speed skaters. He had been a speed skaters for years in the past. However, the coach knew what was wrong with his games and he turned the skater into a right field of sports where he could demonstrate his latent strength. Therefore, if it were not for the coach, that skater could have resigned his position without any medals in the Olympics.
However, educational institution is not a physic. They do not know whether that student has a strength in their field in the long run. Students can carry on their studying or their work when they have interest in it. With the interest and the long days of hard work, they could have higher chances of success rather than with less interest. If they have no interest in their work field, they will be reluctant to carry on with their field of study. For instance, Steve Jobs did not show his magnanimous strength until he gave up on his university studying which was totally different from what Apple does right now. However, he always wanted to create his own thing. Therefore, he did not follow what his educational institution had led his way and sticked to his own interest and showed a huge success towards the whole world.
In addition, there is an Idol group called "EXID". This group did not catch people's eyes and was suffering in a severe financial constraint. Therefore, the entertainment company of EXID almost gave up on them. However, some time later, a video that a fan of EXID took got so much popular that they were on the first in the billboard chart in Korea for such a long time. Moreover, from that time, they are broadcasted on TV consistently.
Therefore, educational institution should believe in what students have interest in a particular field of study and believe in their strength. It is their responsibility to encourage students and let them carry on their work.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
students that seems to have little chance
students who seem to have little chance
Sentence: Therefore, he did not follow what his educational institution had led his way and sticked to his own interest and showed a huge success towards the whole world.
Error: sticked Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
Need some arguments before an example. While the fourth paragraph is a complete example. Try this pattern:
paragraph 1: introduction. Suppose we support side A.
paragraph 2: reason 1 + why reason 1 + example of reason 1 + a small conclusion (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1).
paragraph 3: reason 2 + why reason 2 + example of reason 2 + a small conclusion (like advantages of reason 2 or comparisons if not reason 2).
paragraph 4: Admittedly, there are some advantages of side B. First, ... Second, .... However, there is no causation/relation.... I still support side A...
paragraph 5: conclusion -- reinforce the thesis.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 473 350
No. of Characters: 2195 1500
No. of Different Words: 215 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.664 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.641 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.497 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 133 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.92 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.397 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.284 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.475 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.157 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 519, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'been'.
Suggestion: been
...rs ago. The odd point that everyone had was that he was somewhat older than the ave...
^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['first', 'however', 'if', 'moreover', 'so', 'therefore', 'thus', 'as to', 'for instance', 'in addition']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.215238095238 0.240241500013 90% => OK
Verbs: 0.154285714286 0.157235817809 98% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0780952380952 0.0880659088768 89% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0628571428571 0.0497285424764 126% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0857142857143 0.0444667217837 193% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.137142857143 0.12292977631 112% => OK
Participles: 0.0190476190476 0.0406280797675 47% => Some participles wanted.
Conjunctions: 2.64135441117 2.79330140395 95% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0171428571429 0.030933414821 55% => OK
Particles: 0.00380952380952 0.0016655270985 229% => OK
Determiners: 0.0819047619048 0.0997080785238 82% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0209523809524 0.0249443105267 84% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0228571428571 0.0148568991511 154% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2740.0 2732.02544248 100% => OK
No of words: 473.0 452.878318584 104% => OK
Chars per words: 5.79281183932 6.0361032391 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.66353547975 4.58838876751 102% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.298097251586 0.366273622748 81% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.221987315011 0.280924506359 79% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.162790697674 0.200843997647 81% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0972515856237 0.132149295362 74% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64135441117 2.79330140395 95% => OK
Unique words: 220.0 219.290929204 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.46511627907 0.48968727796 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 52.5766528649 55.4138127331 95% => OK
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6194690265 121% => OK
Sentence length: 18.92 23.380412469 81% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.1228628809 59.4972553346 66% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.6 141.124799967 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.92 23.380412469 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.4 0.674092028746 59% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.94800884956 101% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.21349557522 19% => OK
Readability: 41.1187315011 51.4728631049 80% => OK
Elegance: 1.22641509434 1.64882698954 74% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.364667153356 0.391690518653 93% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.134982744595 0.123202303941 110% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.102477007561 0.077325440228 133% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.454887071143 0.547984918172 83% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.15567808937 0.149214159877 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.121671576031 0.161403998019 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0820724257315 0.0892212321368 92% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.297514693837 0.385218514788 77% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.114705211864 0.0692045440612 166% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.242461699148 0.275328986314 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0443242676519 0.0653680567796 68% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 10.4325221239 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.30420353982 94% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88274336283 123% => OK
Positive topic words: 11.0 7.22455752212 152% => OK
Negative topic words: 4.0 3.66592920354 109% => OK
Neutral topic words: 3.0 2.70907079646 111% => OK
Total topic words: 18.0 13.5995575221 132% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 62.5 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.75 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.