Children should not be forced by law to be educated by either public schools or home schooling if their parents do not wish them to do so

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Children should not be forced by law to be educated by either public schools or home schooling if their parents do not wish them to do so.

Our parents, who have born us, are whom that play an important role in our lives. They watch the growth and rejuvenation of us, and as the consequence, thy would be happy when they see the progression of whom, they have given to the society. They always want us be successful in life, and since education is the first step of success, they would prefer us to be educated. But some of them, thanks to the presence of ignorance, or financial problems, would not wish their children to be educated, and therefore, laws would interfere in such critical situation. Opinions are divided as to whether such children should not be forced by law,yet my firm conviction make me to abjure such notion.

My firm conviction is that as long as we live in a society together, we are responsible toward, not only ourselves and our lives, but also the whole society. It is crystal clear that it is everyone's right to make decision about himself and the way he prefers to live, but whatever we do, has a fundamental effect on the others in the society, called " An umbrella effect". Based on such effect, in nature, everything affects the other parts and consequently the whole nature, and it is also true about a country and society. So, it is discernible that an uneducated child in a society would be dangerous for the whole society. In this situation it is not the parents, who determine whether their children should go to school or not.

What is more, by making such decision, to not send children to school, just because their parents do not wish them to do so, is completely a betray toward one's life. It is so unfair to impede one, to not flourish in a way that the others can. When parents, do not let their children to go to school, besides the effects on the whole society, which mentioned before, the child's life would be destroyed. All his future, work, fame, and prestige, would be wiped out, without education. So it is so crucial to stop his progression from its very beginning, since it is believed that education is everything, in one's life. Actually being forced by law, though might be thought that is unfair, is a way that has worked in the thick of time, owing to the fact that just because of parent's ignorance, children and their future lives has been marred, and since children, are not mature enough, they were not able to make up their minds for their future.

Additionally, the law never wants people's ruined future. they are orders that have been made us for a better life, so, it worth relying on it, in any situation.

To wrap up, I take exception with mentioned issue, since the law is a mean to make our lives progressed, we should rely on it, and besides that, as every one is responsible toward its society, and education is a way to make our life and socity more progressed, it is every on;s duty to indulge this responsibility.

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Sentence: Our parents, who have born us, are whom that play an important role in our lives.
Description: The tag a WH-pronoun, accusative is not usually followed by that
Suggestion: Refer to whom and that

yet my firm conviction make me to abjure such notion.
yet my firm conviction makes me to abjure such notion.

Sentence: To wrap up, I take exception with mentioned issue, since the law is a mean to make our lives progressed, we should rely on it, and besides that, as every one is responsible toward its society, and education is a way to make our life and socity more progressed, it is every on;s duty to indulge this responsibility.
Error: socity Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
Some duplicate words or sentences. Look:
No. of Words: 514 while No. of Different Words: 223

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 514 350
No. of Characters: 2257 1500
No. of Different Words: 223 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.761 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.391 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.441 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 143 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 99 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.053 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.371 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.737 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.317 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.529 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.173 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5