The fact that technology is outpacing the needs of those in cultures that can afford the technology creates cultures of excess consumerism

Technology is an emerging field in the present age. New gadgets often make people of all ages go crazy about it. I think the above statement that technology is outpacing the needs of those in cultures that can afford the technology creates cultures of excess consumerism is correct but it goes the other way around.

First of all, let me start with an example. Looking at the first half of the statement. When we enter a store, say a standard grocery shop, do we immediately start looking for the ones we need or linger about looking at what is available and then forming a list of all those we require. When we run our minds through an imaginary list, we often come across a few items, which aren't there and we think to ourselves, I just wish I could have found this item here or mutter out loud, God, why doesn't this store have anything I require. This is where the "outpacing" part comes into picture. In the past, when technology was in it's nascent stages, it was met with enthralled faces and shocked comments. Nowadays, the standard of expectation has increased so much, a mere upgraded version of a product is met with a pair of disinterested eyes.

Now for the second half. In the past, when the first generation of phones came into the industry, people bought them out of mere curiosity. Nowadays, those in cultures that can afford the technology are ready to profligate endlessly on anything they come across. It is become of this type of consumerism that excess technology is being created. No longer are we interested in what is being created but how latest can we be in have the gadgets that are part of this. We ignore the fact that we do not require the gadget. This endless buying has created a vast amount of unnecessary technology. Hence, it is not the endless technology that creates excess consumerism alone but the endless consumerism that creates endless technology too.

Notice that in the previous sentence I used the word alone in between the two contrasts. To say that the enormous amount of buying is the only culprit would be throwing the blame on the consumers alone. Technology brands too have their finger in the pie. They have formed a conclusion that needless of what is displayed, people of rich class would never think twice to buy it. Companies often prevaricate and this entire equivocation has affected us all. The most affected are teenagers and children who due to their immaturity fall prey to the advertisements. And the whole process of consumerism is repeated. \

Therefore, I would like to conclude by saying, the statement that technology is outpacing the needs of those in cultures that can afford the technology creates cultures of excess consumerism alone is not correct but the fact that needs of those in cultures that can afford the technology is outpacing technology and endless consumerism creates excess technology. The only way we could not fall into the pit of consumerism is only when we do not depend on technology alone and spend our resources on other important things we need too.

Votes
Average: 7.5 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 377, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: aren't
...we often come across a few items, which arent there and we think to ourselves, I just...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 491, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... item here or mutter out loud, God, why doesnt this store have anything I require. Thi...
^^^^^^
Line 6, column 403, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'how the latest'.
Suggestion: how the latest
...interested in what is being created but how latest can we be in have the gadgets that are ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 222, Rule ID: TOO_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'to have'?
Suggestion: to have
... the consumers alone. Technology brands too have their finger in the pie. They have form...
^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 321, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...sion that needless of what is displayed, people of rich class would never think t...
^^
Line 8, column 502, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a due'.
Suggestion: who is a due
...ost affected are teenagers and children who due to their immaturity fall prey to the ad...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, hence, look, second, so, then, therefore, i think, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.5258426966 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.4196629213 97% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 14.8657303371 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 23.0 11.3162921348 203% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 64.0 33.0505617978 194% => OK
Preposition: 68.0 58.6224719101 116% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 12.9106741573 54% => More nominalization wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2541.0 2235.4752809 114% => OK
No of words: 529.0 442.535393258 120% => OK
Chars per words: 4.8034026465 5.05705443957 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.79583152331 4.55969084622 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73089271281 2.79657885939 98% => OK
Unique words: 240.0 215.323595506 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.453686200378 0.4932671777 92% => OK
syllable_count: 796.5 704.065955056 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 6.24550561798 192% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Interrogative: 5.0 0.740449438202 675% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.99550561798 100% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.2370786517 133% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 23.0359550562 82% => OK
Sentence length SD: 73.5837661765 60.3974514979 122% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.1111111111 118.986275619 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.5925925926 23.4991977007 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.77777777778 5.21951772744 53% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 7.80617977528 77% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 10.2758426966 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 5.13820224719 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.83258426966 186% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.393187280895 0.243740707755 161% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0968062733489 0.0831039109588 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.181967140064 0.0758088955206 240% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.279800821648 0.150359130593 186% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.21932978619 0.0667264976115 329% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.0 14.1392134831 78% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.8420337079 124% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.1743820225 78% => Flesch kincaid grade is low.
coleman_liau_index: 10.56 12.1639044944 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.21 8.38706741573 86% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 100.480337079 88% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 11.8971910112 71% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.2143820225 86% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => The average readability is low. Need to improve the language.
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.