Governments should invest as much in the arts as they do in the military.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.
The statement here says that the government should pay equal heed to art as to military financially. I completely agree with this statement and believe that the area of art is as important to the nation as the military because both represent a complete picture of the nation's well-being in all spheres, and hence deserves equal financial investment.
The foremost idea of supporting the area of art will give rise to employment to a large scale. Art is a very vague term and it broadly includes painting, dancing, singing, pottery and the list can go on. Looking at these few artworks itself gives an idea about how many people can benefit from investment by the government. It will enhance the employment of the citizen and promote people to take these professions more seriously. Take the example of the comparison in this particular statement, between the military and the art. How many people are part these defense forces? Are they all in the profession by choice? Many a times, due to lack of opportunities, aspiring artists give up on their dream and take up other professions to earn money. Intervention by the government will help these kind of people, encouraging them to pursue a career in arts without any fear of unemployment. These doesn't necessarily harm the strength of the military.
A direct consequence of above point is improved economy and improved peripheral employment in the country. Not only art can create opportunities for people to make a successful career in these fields, it will enhance other factors such as foreign investment, tourism, employing people to manage the artworks, staff to support the artist and so on. Take the example of the great Indian artist M.F. Hussain. Due to his exemplary work in the field of painting, it attracted artists and people from all over the world to visit his exhibition, buy his work and make collaborations: all contributing to the incoming foreign investment to countries economy. If one person can do so much, there consequences of more people being in such a field can only be imagined.
Another indirect consequence of equal investment in art, and the point that makes it different compared to the investment in military, is that the government will have returns on this. Agreed that the military protects the nation form the enemies at the border, but investment in art will make people earn more, expand their work abroad, employ more people for the support work and hence, improving the overall capital income of the country. Not only will it create jobs, it will add to the overall index of satisfaction of the citizens. A successful Tabla player, or a band of singers, dancers will encourage more people to take this up as a career to enjoy their life as they want to.
A contrary point can be that art is not as important as military and hence the government should solely focus in its improvement. But doesn't this mean concentrating only on cultivating only section of the society and ignoring the rest? Furthermore it can be pointed out that the country should make the nation stronger at its border and only then the country can be stronger inside. But such a thing will prove detrimental in the long run. It will create unsatisfied citizens and people will resort to other trickery to achieve success.
In the end, the investment in art is as important as the military because it is beneficial to the economy and aid to the the progress of the citizens in all spheres of life.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 323, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to equal'
Suggestion: to equal
...eing in all spheres, and hence deserves equal financial investment. The foremost i...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 625, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a time' or simply 'times'?
Suggestion: a time; times
...y all in the profession by choice? Many a times, due to lack of opportunities, aspiring...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 790, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this kind' or 'these kinds'?
Suggestion: this kind; these kinds
...ntervention by the government will help these kind of people, encouraging them to pursue a...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 896, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...without any fear of unemployment. These doesnt necessarily harm the strength of the mi...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 231, Rule ID: FROM_FORM[4]
Message: Did you mean 'from'?
Suggestion: from
...d that the military protects the nation form the enemies at the border, but investme...
^^^^
Line 9, column 135, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ld solely focus in its improvement. But doesnt this mean concentrating only on cultiva...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 237, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Furthermore,
...n of the society and ignoring the rest? Furthermore it can be pointed out that the country ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 538, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t to other trickery to achieve success. In the end, the investment in art is as ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 118, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...is beneficial to the economy and aid to the the progress of the citizens in all spheres...
^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 118, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...is beneficial to the economy and aid to the the progress of the citizens in all spheres...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, furthermore, hence, if, look, so, then, well, as for, as to, kind of, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.5258426966 77% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 23.0 12.4196629213 185% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 14.8657303371 148% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.3162921348 62% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 41.0 33.0505617978 124% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 87.0 58.6224719101 148% => OK
Nominalization: 29.0 12.9106741573 225% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2883.0 2235.4752809 129% => OK
No of words: 593.0 442.535393258 134% => OK
Chars per words: 4.86172006745 5.05705443957 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.93473315629 4.55969084622 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75670432556 2.79657885939 99% => OK
Unique words: 268.0 215.323595506 124% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.451939291737 0.4932671777 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 908.1 704.065955056 129% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 6.24550561798 112% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.10617977528 32% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.77640449438 338% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.2370786517 133% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 23.0359550562 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.6868098427 60.3974514979 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.777777778 118.986275619 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.962962963 23.4991977007 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.03703703704 5.21951772744 58% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.97078651685 121% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 7.80617977528 128% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 19.0 10.2758426966 185% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.1044978685 0.243740707755 43% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0328355422166 0.0831039109588 40% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0268725813714 0.0758088955206 35% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0605941897266 0.150359130593 40% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.019657094182 0.0667264976115 29% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 14.1392134831 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.8420337079 120% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.1743820225 85% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.91 12.1639044944 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.01 8.38706741573 96% => OK
difficult_words: 125.0 100.480337079 124% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.2143820225 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.