People’s attitudes are determined by their immediate situation or surroundings than by society as a whole.
Society or individual environment, which one influence more to a person’s attitude? For example, when a person who is a heavy drinker, is it because he is living in a society where drinking is common in its culture or because his close friends often drink? The prompt says people’s attitudes are more decided by the immediate surroundings rather than the bigger society as a whole. This sounds plausible, however, it is not necessarily true.
Admittedly, immediate surrounding can become very influential in shaping one’s daily lives. For instance, when the parents or your close friends are interested in Indie music, there is a high possibility that you might try some songs and have a positive opinion about Indie music, even though that is not the mainstream of musical category in the society. Besides,
However, in making a harder and important decisions, people’s attitudes are more influenced by the society as a whole, specifically by social norms. For example, most of people in South Korea chose to go to college since without the college degree, people cannot get a decent job. Therefore, students study hard to go to a good school. Even students who cannot afford to pay for tuition fee, they will think student loan positively to get the degree, which was required in the society.
In sum, people’s attitudes are both determined by individual surroundings and society. However, it seems that more harder and important decisions are more decided by standards in the society where one belongs to.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
No. of Words: 249 350 //need to bring more arguments
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For issue essays, if there are no ideas for arguments, try TLPE:
T means Time: put the argument on a history background to check out it is correct or not. //for example, kids may throw garbage to the ground, bu as they grow up, they learn the right behivor and will put garbage properly.
L means Location: test the argument on different locations/countries/regions.
P means People: test the argument on people.
E means Event: Some people may argue (in some events...) ...however, still I support ...
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.0 out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 249 350
No. of Characters: 1225 1500
No. of Different Words: 146 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.972 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.92 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.651 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 95 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 73 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 41 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.154 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.34 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.615 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.34 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.542 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.076 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 371, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...usical category in the society. Besides, However, in making a harder and importan...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 168, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the people') or simply say ''most people''.
Suggestion: most of the people; most people
...cifically by social norms. For example, most of people in South Korea chose to go to college s...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 117, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'harder' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: harder
...ngs and society. However, it seems that more harder and important decisions are more decide...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, however, if, so, therefore, for example, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.5258426966 67% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.4196629213 40% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 14.8657303371 47% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.3162921348 97% => OK
Pronoun: 13.0 33.0505617978 39% => OK
Preposition: 28.0 58.6224719101 48% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 4.0 12.9106741573 31% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1296.0 2235.4752809 58% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 249.0 442.535393258 56% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.20481927711 5.05705443957 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.97237131171 4.55969084622 87% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90927198558 2.79657885939 104% => OK
Unique words: 144.0 215.323595506 67% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.578313253012 0.4932671777 117% => OK
syllable_count: 414.9 704.065955056 59% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 6.24550561798 64% => OK
Article: 1.0 4.99550561798 20% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 20.2370786517 59% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.9855410287 60.3974514979 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.0 118.986275619 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.75 23.4991977007 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.16666666667 5.21951772744 99% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 10.2758426966 78% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 5.13820224719 19% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.312567480442 0.243740707755 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.126388319208 0.0831039109588 152% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.14977369926 0.0758088955206 198% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.183321271199 0.150359130593 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.086467622538 0.0667264976115 130% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 14.1392134831 95% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.8420337079 87% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.1743820225 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.88 12.1639044944 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.37 8.38706741573 100% => OK
difficult_words: 59.0 100.480337079 59% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 11.8971910112 71% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Minimum 250 words wanted.
Rates: 33.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 2.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.