People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.

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People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.

In this modern society, it has become a common scene that people’s behaviour is largely determined by outside forces instead of their own minds. Although many reasons account for such phenomenon, I still cannot agree the claim totally; for a really determined person, he should take actions out of his will and take responsibility for them.

As the competition becomes more fierce ,social relationships become more complicated and intrigued. People who want to vie for a certain goal with other rivalries have to avoid any unnecessary problems caused by careless or irresponsible behaviour. Therefore, as a member of the large social network, they need to realize that their actions will have profound influence beyond surface. Most of the time, people tend to act differently depending on various situations, thereby being determined by the environmental forces. For example, when being invited to a lecture, despite the fact that you do not want to go at all, finally you still attend it because you do not want to let others down. From such cases, we could draw that people often consider how others will respond or what the consequences will their actions lead to, and then make the final decisions.

However, the outside forces do not always determine one’s behaviour. Though I concede that people should take many factors into consideration so that their behavious are usually constrained by others, the ultimate goal they intend to achieve and the strategy they decide to adopt are determined by themselves at large. The notion behind it is that men are the masters of their own destinies, which entitle them with rights to explore and realize their values. Consider the case of a businessman who always make considerate thoughts in multifarious situations, it appears that his behaviour is mostly determined by outside forces, while in fact he just behaves so perfectly in order to realize his goal more quickly---the process of which is largely under his control.

For people with different identities , or at heterogeneous stages of life, the factors determining their actions vary. For researchers or scholars who devote much into the study of certain fields such as science and technology, history and art, they are usually less sociable and have more freedom to behave what they like. Take the example of Einstein, the great genius did not pay much attention to his appearance, nor did he cater to others deliberately, for he was always emerged in the ocean of physics and seeking for the principles of world. Those vigorous young people, who disdain the banic tradition like some complex etiquette of the older generations frequently, usually tend to perform more freely, or even rashly. On the contrary, once they enter into the society ,they will gradually come to realize the strong forces of environmental restricts, especially for those in special areas like government, or service industry. Moreover, in different cultures the strength of outside forces are also dissimilar. In traditional eastern cultures, which attaches more importance on the family or collective spirits, people are required to think more before action, since they are on behalf of not only themselves, but the whole family and their corporation. Meanwhile in western cultures people tend to consider more about their mind when making decisions. Therefore, an American may feel very pressed and uncomfortable if he suddenly immigrate to Japan since he has been used to the carefree style thinking model.

In sum ,it stands to some ground that people’s behaviour is largely determined by forces from the external environment, but the claim is so assertive that it overlooks the true meanings behind the compromised surface as well as various people in different areas.

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a businessman who always make considerate thoughts
a businessman who always makes considerate thoughts

if he suddenly immigrate to Japan
if he suddenly immigrates to Japan

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Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 608 350
No. of Characters: 3081 1500
No. of Different Words: 315 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.966 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.067 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.674 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 239 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 175 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 106 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 75 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.636 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.56 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.591 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.28 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.47 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.089 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5