"Sports stars & movie stars have an obligation to behave as role models for the young people who look up to them. In return for the millions of dollars that they are paid, we should expect them to fulfill this societal responsibility." -Write a respon

Essay topics:

"Sports stars & movie stars have an obligation to behave as role models for the young people who look up to them. In return for the millions of dollars that they are paid, we should expect them to fulfill this societal responsibility." -

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing & supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

Motivation and Inspiration are two very crucial things which help us in becoming who we are and what defines our character. As a result, people who asipire to become actors or good sportsmen often draw lot of inspiration from the people who have excelled in these fields. But, very often these role models are often indulged in activites which are considered as immoral and disappointing. However, enforcing a societal responsibility on these role models for maintaining an ideal behaviour just because they are paid millions of dollars would be something very wrong.

We all know, none of us can be perfect, but yes we definitely strive to attain perfection. Hence, expecting the same from these famous stars is something very ambitious. Each of us have their fair share of negative traits, but these cannot be simpply removed just because of the fact that we are paid millions of dollars. These negative traits are the very part of us and moreover some way or the other these might also have been responsible in reaching the stardom. Thus, putting a burden of social responsibility on these famous people for maintaing their conduct is a sort of coercion.
In addition, Sports Stars or Movie Stars are paid millions of dollars because of their talent and excellence in their fields. Nowhere in the contract they sign state that they are also responsible for a societal responsibility for maintaining good conduct in the society so as to become ideal role models for the young people. It depends solely upon the person to decide whether he should be curbing his bad habits in public or not. On the contrary, the desire for maintaining one's image as as ideal role model comes solely from the inside. When a person reaches an epitome of success in public eyes, they become self conscious of the fact that they are being watched over by a million people and moreover they are very much aware of the fact that many young people consider them their role models. Thus, maintaining a good conduct for keeping a consistent image of an ideal role model comes from the very inner core of the heart. Thus, they need not be forced to fulfill this societal responsibility just because of the fact they are being paid millions of dollars.

Most importantly, giving all the burden on these sports stars or actors for behaving ideally is also wrong. The youngsters should develop their own conscience. It is also a signficant role on their part to only take inspiration and try to follow the positive traits of these imminent persons. Considering the fact that no human can ever be perfect, they should put a filter so as to ignore the negative traits.

However, the fact that young people tend to pick up bad habits from their role models very quickly can also not be ignored. Thus, in this case enforcing a societal responsibility on them would help in alleviating the problem to a pretty good extent. This will help these imminent people to atleast give a thought about their conduct in the public.

Hence, in short, expecting the famous people to adhere to social responsibilities just because of the fact that they are being paid huge amounts of money is wrong. There is also a crucial role which has to be played on the part of the youngsters as well rather than giving the entire burden on these imminent people for maintaing a good conduct in public just because of the fact they are source of inspiration for numerous youngsters.

Votes
Average: 5 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 265, Rule ID: BECAUSE_OF_THE_FACT_THAT[1]
Message: This phrase is redundant. Use simply 'because'.
Suggestion: because
...ut these cannot be simpply removed just because of the fact that we are paid millions of dollars. These ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 271, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...maintaining good conduct in the society so as to become ideal role models for the young ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 477, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...he contrary, the desire for maintaining ones image as as ideal role model comes sole...
^^^^
Line 4, column 488, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: as
..., the desire for maintaining ones image as as ideal role model comes solely from the ...
^^^^^
Line 6, column 375, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...er be perfect, they should put a filter so as to ignore the negative traits. However,...
^^^^^^^^
Line 10, column 88, Rule ID: BECAUSE_OF_THE_FACT_THAT[1]
Message: This phrase is redundant. Use simply 'because'.
Suggestion: because
... adhere to social responsibilities just because of the fact that they are being paid huge amounts of mon...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'hence', 'however', 'moreover', 'so', 'thus', 'well', 'as to', 'in addition', 'in short', 'sort of', 'as a result', 'on the contrary']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.210361067504 0.240241500013 88% => OK
Verbs: 0.160125588697 0.157235817809 102% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0989010989011 0.0880659088768 112% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0737833594976 0.0497285424764 148% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0549450549451 0.0444667217837 124% => OK
Prepositions: 0.138147566719 0.12292977631 112% => OK
Participles: 0.0580847723705 0.0406280797675 143% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.57099200424 2.79330140395 92% => OK
Infinitives: 0.021978021978 0.030933414821 71% => OK
Particles: 0.00156985871272 0.0016655270985 94% => OK
Determiners: 0.10989010989 0.0997080785238 110% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0172684458399 0.0249443105267 69% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0125588697017 0.0148568991511 85% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 3431.0 2732.02544248 126% => OK
No of words: 592.0 452.878318584 131% => OK
Chars per words: 5.79560810811 6.0361032391 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.93265142912 4.58838876751 108% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.337837837838 0.366273622748 92% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.222972972973 0.280924506359 79% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.138513513514 0.200843997647 69% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0810810810811 0.132149295362 61% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.57099200424 2.79330140395 92% => OK
Unique words: 238.0 219.290929204 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.402027027027 0.48968727796 82% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 47.8393483914 55.4138127331 86% => OK
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6194690265 121% => OK
Sentence length: 23.68 23.380412469 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.3075811856 59.4972553346 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 137.24 141.124799967 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.68 23.380412469 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.56 0.674092028746 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.94800884956 121% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.21349557522 115% => OK
Readability: 45.9772972973 51.4728631049 89% => OK
Elegance: 1.40760869565 1.64882698954 85% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.457681441611 0.391690518653 117% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.100614938136 0.123202303941 82% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0698746894165 0.077325440228 90% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.533539800163 0.547984918172 97% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.128196647121 0.149214159877 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.167734569967 0.161403998019 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0698579889521 0.0892212321368 78% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.327960068736 0.385218514788 85% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0453284175505 0.0692045440612 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.2907494339 0.275328986314 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0754647459874 0.0653680567796 115% => OK

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 10.4325221239 153% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 5.30420353982 151% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88274336283 20% => More neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 12.0 7.22455752212 166% => OK
Negative topic words: 7.0 3.66592920354 191% => OK
Neutral topic words: 1.0 2.70907079646 37% => OK
Total topic words: 20.0 13.5995575221 147% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.