You are hereThe bar chart below shows the results of a survey conducted by a personnel department at a major company. The survey was carried out on two groups of workers: those aged from 18-30 and those aged 45-60, and shows factors affecting their work performance.W

The bar chart below shows the results of a survey conducted by a personnel department at a major company. The survey was carried out on two groups of workers: those aged from 18-30 and those aged 45-60, and shows factors affecting their work performance.W


Sahlan Zuliansyah's picture

By Sahlan Zuliansyah - Posted on 30 November 2013

Essay topic: 

The bar chart below shows the results of a survey conducted by a personnel department at a major company. The survey was carried out on two groups of workers: those aged from 18-30 and those aged 45-60, and shows factors affecting their work performance.

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

This report is purposed to explain a diagram illustrating factors that affect on the performance of two groups of worker; those whose ages from 18 and 30 and 45 to 60.

There are four aspects that workers of the first group (aged 18-30) consider most affecting their performance; chance to develop personally (90%), relaxed working environment (80%), prospects of promotion (80%), and salary (70%); which is the most important aspect for the second group (aged 45-60). 60 % of the two groups rated team spirit as one of considerable aspect. Competent boss and job satisfaction were elected by about 50% of the groups. Other aspects, including job security, respect from colleagues, and work environment were below 50% of the votes.

To sum up, people of group 1 regarded career development as the most affecting aspect of their work achievement yet work environment as a non significant factor, while another group’s members thought that money was more essential and were less worried by job security.

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 6 10
No. of Words: 163 200
No. of Characters: 800 1000
No. of Different Words: 106 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.573 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.908 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.733 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 58 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 42 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 26 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 21 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.167 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.668 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.333 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.474 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.703 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.136 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 4

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