Billions of dollars are spent on beauty business by people all over the world. This has led to develop an indifferent and passive attitude to real healthy needs. Do you agree or disagree with it?

In contemporary society, cosmetics has become increasingly popular all over the world. Many people insist on the view that this causes a negative impact on traditional sense of beauty among people. As far as I am concerned, I agree with this contention, and I shall justify my reasons below.

First of all, wearing make ups has been the mainstream of beauty in the modern world. A rumor even has been spread out that this is a respectful behavior, and therefore many women tend to feel self-conscious around people if they are not wearing make ups. However, many reports show that cosmetics cause severe skin diseases.

Secondly, people are fond of spending a large amount of money on cosmetics instead of developing healthy lifestyle such as sufficient sleep and eating healthy diet simply because they get accustomed to irregular ways of life, so that they need these chemical products to recover the unhealthy symptoms such as dry skin and under-eye dark circle.

Last but not the least, increasing people, especially young ladies are being influenced by the so-called fashion shows like Victoria Secret, which leads them to lost weight blindly. This is seriously affecting their physical health and psychological soundness. For instance, they will feel lack of confidence and low self-esteem if they gain a few pounds on their weight.

In conclusion, I concede that everyone would like themselves look fascinating in front of people, but a correct aesthetic standard should be cultivated, and individual's physical and mental health should be priorities.

Votes
Average: 5 (3 votes)
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flaws:
No. of Words: 251 350
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.055 0.07

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 251 350
No. of Characters: 1278 1500
No. of Different Words: 169 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.98 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.092 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.724 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 97 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 67 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.818 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.798 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.636 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.331 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.655 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.055 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5