You are hereDespite health warnings, a large number people continue to smoke all over the worldwhy should we be concerned about this ?What solution would you suggest ?

Despite health warnings, a large number people continue to smoke all over the worldwhy should we be concerned about this ?What solution would you suggest ?


Sekar Hanafi's picture

By Sekar Hanafi - Posted on 03 November 2013

Essay topic: 

Despite health warnings, a large number people continue to smoke all over the world
why should we be concerned about this ?
What solution would you suggest ?

Smoking is the expensive habit which is pollutes the environment and a triggered with much serious illness. Statically third of a men in the world smoking, and also a five from teenagers start smoking in the youngest at 11. This is totally pitiful because cigarette factory taking a very big profit from our bad habit.

Smoking also has link with lung infection, heart disease, cancer, problems of blood pressure, and other serious illness. For reminding beside the personal effect which we get in ourselves, there are many social disadvantages happen. Why we do not allocate the smoking cost to collected healthy food for poor and hunger place, or making some free health and education centre in the rural area, in my head this way are helpfulness and goodness.

After all of this explanation, why did people continuing smoking?. In my way of think is all about habit which is starting in the wrong way. Did you remind that most of smokers start smoke because of peer pressure, while they socialize with other doctrine to start smoke becoming, this is continued happen and long time being the part daily need. In my suggestion to discourage smoking, important to take highly tax and smoking punishment which is occur globally. This way can be reducing smoker, because they need to think the highly cost before their smoke.

In conclusion, recently smoke is not about personal problem again. We should do more effort to save our society from smoking effect. However, it is not enough provide the information, we should move together to find best solution for smoking problem.

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essayE-rater's picture

Sentence: Smoking is the expensive habit which is pollutes the environment and a triggered with much serious illness.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to is and pollutes

Sentence: Statically third of a men in the world smoking, and also a five from teenagers start smoking in the youngest at 11.
Description: An adverb is not usually followed by a numeral, ordinal
Suggestion: Refer to Statically and third

Sentence: Why we do not allocate the smoking cost to collected healthy food for poor and hunger place, or making some free health and education centre in the rural area, in my head this way are helpfulness and goodness.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to to and collected
Description: The fragment head this way is not usually followed by are
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace are with is

Sentence: Did you remind that most of smokers start smoke because of peer pressure, while they socialize with other doctrine to start smoke becoming, this is continued happen and long time being the part daily need.
Description: A verb, past participle is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to continued and happen
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to part and daily

Sentence: In my suggestion to discourage smoking, important to take highly tax and smoking punishment which is occur globally.
Description: A qualifier, pre is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to highly and tax
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to is and occur

Sentence: This way can be reducing smoker, because they need to think the highly cost before their smoke.
Description: The word cost is not usually used as a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to cost

Sentence: In conclusion, recently smoke is not about personal problem again.
Description: The fragment , recently smoke is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace recently with adjective

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2

Read a good grammar book.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 9
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 265 350
No. of Characters: 1277 1500
No. of Different Words: 162 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.035 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.819 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.402 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 91 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 68 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 40 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 23 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.929 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.878 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.429 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.342 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.562 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.122 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5