The diagrams below show how chocolate is made and how the price of a chocolate bar is divided up among these involved in the prosess.Summarise the information by choosing and reporting the key features, and make any relevant comparisons.

Essay topics:

The diagrams below show how chocolate is made and how the price of a chocolate bar is divided up among these involved in the prosess.

Summarise the information by choosing and reporting the key features, and make any relevant comparisons.

It can be seen in the diagram 1 the process to produce chocolate. While, diagram 2 illustrate the percentage of chocolate bar price is divided up.

In the terms of chocolate making process, the cocoa is grinded earlier. The waste products from cocoa grinding process is disposed. While, the cocoa grinded is liquored. Next, it is pressed to become cocoa butter and cocoa powder. The cocoa powder can be sold in food industry. Meanwhile, the cocoa butter is added with sugar and some other ingredients in chocolate industry to produce chocolate bar.

Turning to how the price of chocolate bar is divided up, it can be seen from the pie chart that the most highest percentage is used for cost of ingredients and overheads, followed by the supermarket income by 34%. Then, the governtment get 15% from the taxes of chocolate sales. Next, the chocolate company receive 10%, while the farmers only gain 4% for their cocoa production.

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Average: 6.5 (2 votes)
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diagram 2 illustrate the percentage of chocolate bar price is divided up.
diagram 2 illustrates the percentage of chocolate bar price which is divided up.

Sentence: Then, the governtment get 15 from the taxes of chocolate sales.
Description: The fragment governtment get 15 is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace get with verb, past tense

Sentence: Next, the chocolate company receive 10, while the farmers only gain 4 for their cocoa production.
Description: The fragment company receive 10 is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace receive with verb, past tense

Sentence: Then, the governtment get 15 from the taxes of chocolate sales.
Error: governtment Suggestion: government

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Words: 158 200

Read a good grammar book.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 10
No. of Words: 158 200
No. of Characters: 744 1000
No. of Different Words: 84 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.545 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.709 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.552 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 50 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 43 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 25 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 18 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.364 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.477 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.364 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.427 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.594 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.142 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 4