The diargams below show the site of a school in 2004 and the plan for changes to the school site in 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparisons where relevant.
The both diagrams below show the comparison between old picture of school in 2004 with a new plan for changes to the school site in 2004. There is significant addition ini the school site’s plan for 2014 that encourges student’s number from 600 to 1000.
The old school has two main building schools with one sport field. Next, the old school is located in the area where surrounding by park. There is no road directly to connect the school building 1 with the school building 2 or wider with the main entrance. Moreover, the old school only has one car park that locate cross of main entrance. Afte all, the area of the old school is look like round ship.
Then, the school council make a great plan to change the school completely different with previous one obviously, they make some additions to the new plan such as adding the car park, the road in front of round area and ofcorse, adding the next school building 3. Furthermore, the new schooling building will replace potition of the previous sport field. Besides, the sports field will be moved opposite to school building 3. Moreover, the new road will be created from main entrance to building school 1, 2, 3 and sports field untill the car park 2-the new one. Next, they will build a conjuntion across school building 1 to school building 2. Finally, all this plan will give students, teachers, and stuffs a comfortable time of studying at school.
Finally, the idea of changes are made to give more pleasure to all students. Next, the higher number of students, the more buildings of schools are built.
The both diagrams below
both of the diagrams below
Sentence: Afte all, the area of the old school is look like round ship.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to is and look
Sentence: Then, the school council make a great plan to change the school completely different with previous one obviously, they make some additions to the new plan such as adding the car park, the road in front of round area and ofcorse, adding the next school building 3.
Description: The fragment council make a is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace make with verb, past tense
Sentence: There is significant addition ini the school site's plan for 2014 that encourges student's number from 600 to 1000.
Error: encourges Suggestion: encourages
Sentence: Then, the school council make a great plan to change the school completely different with previous one obviously, they make some additions to the new plan such as adding the car park, the road in front of round area and ofcorse, adding the next school building 3.
Error: ofcorse Suggestion: of course
Sentence: Furthermore, the new schooling building will replace potition of the previous sport field.
Error: potition Suggestion: position
Sentence: Moreover, the new road will be created from main entrance to building school 1, 2, 3 and sports field untill the car park 2-the new one.
Error: untill Suggestion: until
Sentence: Next, they will build a conjuntion across school building 1 to school building 2.
Error: conjuntion Suggestion: conjunction
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Words: 276 200
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 15 10
No. of Words: 276 200
No. of Characters: 1252 1000
No. of Different Words: 125 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.076 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.536 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.267 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 86 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 56 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 41 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 14 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.935 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.533 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.407 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.614 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.154 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4