The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English home.Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make c

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The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English home.

Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph illustrates how the demands for electricity are changed during a one day in winter and summer in England. More over, the pie chart shows the percentage of used electricity in an average English home. In general, the figures from graph show that the demands of electricity are almost double in winter in all hours a day rather than the percentages of those in summer.

There is a fluctuation trend with the highest numbers of units of electricity between 12am and 15 pm with 20’000 units and between 21pm and 24pm at the same number in summer. While, the trend for winter follow a sinus pattern and units of electricity are fluctuated between 30’000 and 40’000 units until 12am and then remain stable around 40’000 units. There is a sharp drop from 21pm to 24pm and decline to almost 35’000 units in winter.

Furthermore, the pie chart displays that the category which is included heating rooms and water, has highest percentage with 52.2% for using electricity. Second category has only 17.5% of using electricity and two other categories are matched with 15%.

In conclusion, it is clear that the reason why the demands for electricity in England during typical days in winter are higher than summer is related to the percentage of heating room and water which use more than 52.2 percent of total electricity used in England.

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Average: 7.4 (17 votes)
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Sentence: In general, the figures from graph show that the demands of electricity are almost double in winter in all hours a day rather than the percentages of those in summer.
Description: The fragment graph show that is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace show with verb, past tense

Sentence: While, the trend for winter follow a sinus pattern and units of electricity are fluctuated between 30'000 and 40'000 units until 12am and then remain stable around 40'000 units.
Description: The fragment winter follow a is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace follow with verb, past tense

Still some sentences are too long with two or three 'and'. It is not easy to figure out the logical relations among 'and'.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 9
No. of Words: 234 200
No. of Characters: 1082 900
No. of Different Words: 113 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.911 3.7
Average Word Length: 4.624 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.476 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 71 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 48 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 23 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 19 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.487 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.556 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.442 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.725 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.117 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5