If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer
In my Country, Indonesia, there are many small cities still undeveloped. Likewise, my hometown, The place which I grew up when i was kid is small village. The city located at Sumatera Island especially North Sumatera. Since I was born, there is nothing change improved in it, and now this town seems like vanish place. On the other hand, I think there are many chances to promote the burg before but they waste it. If I have once opportunity to change or repair the city, I will try to rearrangement that city structure.
However, Tanjung Pura has many home stores in it because at the first time Tanjung Pura which connector city between Medan and Aceh Province is business city. But, in these days the buildings are in the old style and poor condition. So, the first step which i will do is repair design or arts of the buildings around main city. For example, change the reliefs of buildings view become luxurious and repainting all the buildings which built beside subway with calm color.
Also, My another effort which make my town becomes better than before is fix up the city track. The condition of Tanjung Pura traffic is very crowded. Morever, we cannot find any traffic light right there and the highway texture is seems like wave. So, to restore this deal, I will regulation several traffic light and recover road of town to be more flat.
In addition, There is miserable thing of my born place because my home town does not has park. It is one of reason that city looks like black place. Nevertheless, i would like to build a good park at my habitat with many advantages to community. For instance, park with kids play ground, picnic area, and food court also.
To conclude, with those ambition that i hope i can make it happen. It was with repair building design and arts, fix city way, and build up Tanjung Pura Park.
Sentence: If I have once opportunity to change or repair the city, I will try to rearrangement that city structure.
Description: The fragment have once opportunity is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace once with an
Sentence: Also, My another effort which make my town becomes better than before is fix up the city track.
Description: The fragment which make my is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace make with verb, past tense
Description: The fragment town becomes better is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace becomes with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to is and fix
Sentence: Morever, we cannot find any traffic light right there and the highway texture is seems like wave.
Description: The fragment right there and is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace there with adjective
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to is and seems
Sentence: So, to restore this deal, I will regulation several traffic light and recover road of town to be more flat.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to will and regulation
flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.398 7.5
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 328 350
No. of Characters: 1457 1500
No. of Different Words: 186 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.256 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.442 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.211 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 86 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 61 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 32 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.398 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.65 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.308 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.535 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.065 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5