You are hereIn many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour.What do you think are the causes of this?What solutions can you suggest?

In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour.What do you think are the causes of this?What solutions can you suggest?


asim's picture

By asim - Posted on 25 March 2013

Essay topic: 

In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour.
What do you think are the causes of this?
What solutions can you suggest?

School life is very important for everyone in their life.Because,the education which is significant for each person from their born to die begins at school first.Behaviour that expressed in school is very necessary too.Humans’ treatments during their life are mainly determined in their childhood or school time.Thats why,student behavior in school is dramatically urgent.This is for not only our country, but also all country of the world.However,some countries neglect it.

Nevertheless,in many countries about pupils’ behavior there are a lot of severe problems. In general, nowadays, in most countries bad treat students are in great amount. More things are caused this problem. In my opinion, one of the most important reason is mutation by the parents. Some parents tempt their children and this is caused the bad behavior of their children at school. While the worst cause of these problems is family problem. Personal trouble in family is the biggest reason of children’s bad behavior. These troubles may be various.

Secondly, sometimes some students are forced by teachers for their bad behavior. Notwithstanding, this process is not good in our country and other countries. This is fully opposite to human rights.

So that, from my point of view,the solutions of this problem are different. Firstly, it is due to parents. Another is kindergarden.To me,kindergarden must be compulsory.

In conclusion, in all conditions,force on students is horror. Violence enlarged this problem rather than it can reduce it. Everybody must think that children are future of them.

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essayE-rater's picture

Sentence: Secondly, sometimes some teachers violence students for their bad behavior.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to teachers and violence

Sentence: Violence may enlarged this problem rather than reduce it.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to may and enlarged
Description: A conjunction, subordinating is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to than and reduce

Sentence: School life is very important for everyone in their life.Because,the education which is significiant for each person from their born to die begins at school first.Behaviour that expressed in school is very necessary too.Humans' treatments during their life are mainly determined in their childhood or school time.Thats why,student behavior in school is dramatically urgent.This is for not only our country, but also all country of the world.However,some countries neglect it.
Error: significiant Suggestion: significant

Sentence: In my opinion, one of the most important reason is tumtation by the parents.
Error: tumtation Suggestion: mutation ?

Sentence: Personal troble in family is the biggest reason of children's bad behavior.
Error: troble Suggestion: trouble

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Words: 256 350
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.222 21.0
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.025 0.07

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 9
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 256 350
No. of Characters: 1279 1500
No. of Different Words: 146 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.996 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.624 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 100 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 72 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 51 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.222 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 16.026 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.611 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.259 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.459 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.025 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5