In many countries televisions shows many foreign programmes. The dominance of imported entertainment is harmful to the culture of these countries. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Essay topics:

In many countries televisions shows many foreign programmes. The dominance of imported entertainment is harmful to the culture of these countries. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Technology is growing faster in around of the world including in Indonesia. Nowadays, there are new technologies which come in and become new trend. One of them is the international television programme that has a lot of new broadcasts are exported by foreigner. Most of them are dangerous for Indonesian’s cultures.

Groups of people have an opinion that Indonesian’s traditions could be replaced by other customs which are acquired by TV broadcasts. Many people who watch programmes of television are imported from foreigner, whose different cultures, in long time could change their mind and their behaviour. Besides, with or without their awareness, they would change to be new people with new traditions. For example, in the past, citizens taught that kissing and making in love before married were taboo but today, natives think both are accepted.

On the other hand, there are some other people argue that the changeable of cultures will not happen because Indonesia has more than 13,000 traditions and the citizens could keep their original cultures. For example, boyband, girlband and music from Korea have entered and became popular, but dangdut, the original music from Indonesia, are not dissapear from the top-chart of music in Indonesia. Evidiently, the natives would not forget with their original traditions.

In my opinion, although foreign TV broadcasts could change the original cultures, it will be saved by ourselves. In 2013, Most of children like to watch TV programmes which some of them are harmful. The parents and adult people have responsibility to company them when they are watching TV. Besides, they should deliver knowledges which one is a good or a bad programme. Furthermore, adult people should give the reasons why they are not allowed to see the broadcast with kid’s language. Moreover, governments' participation would be helpful because they could eliminate which one the programmes that have negative effects.

Overall, the domination of foreign TV broadcasts are dangerous for Indonesian’s cultures. However, the original culture will not be replaced with others if the adult people and the governments participate on it.

Votes
Average: 7 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

Comments

One of them is the international television programme that has a lot of new broadcasts are exported by foreigner.
Suggestion: One of them is the international television programme that has a lot of new broadcasts which are exported by foreigner.

Sentence: Besides, they should deliver knowledges which one is a good or a bad programme.
Description: A verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to deliver and knowledges which

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 342 350
No. of Characters: 1782 1500
No. of Different Words: 167 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.3 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.211 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.7 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 132 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 108 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.1 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.19 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.45 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.29 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.511 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.085 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

Hello there... I like the way you composed your writing. Anyway, di Paragraf 4, menurut ku, linking words/ connected devices terlalu banyak. Sebaiknya dikurangi.
- Knowledge adalah uncountable noun. Toh, mau bermain inflective morphemes, kyk testbig belum bisa deteksi, so biar aman, besok2 klo nulis knowledge, gak usa pake 's/es' yak.

- Read contoh tulisan2 di group yak, carilah level atau score yg ditargetkan. Imitasi saja pattern.

Itu dulu yak :)