Modern lifestyles mean that many parents have little time for their children. Many children suffer because they do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Modern era provides many modern tools, that help people to do their daily activities, but they should work hard to get invention or achieve of standard quality today. On the other hand, several people think that a lot of children suffer because of that case. Different with juveniles in the past, who receive more attention from their parents. Both of opinion have different side to see the positive and the negative effect.
A large number of young people trap in dark environment because they get less attention from their parents, that always busy to work. as a kid, every person need to feel comfort while they close with their parents, and they could share and play together with their guardian. Moreover, most of old people over focus with their business, and they too tired to ask their son or daughter’s activities. As a result, between parents and children appear a distance, so they feel weird to talk each other. Therefore, it could make children to be independent individual because they usual to do anything by themselves without helped by their parents.
A few people believe that children in the past happier than children in the modern age because they get more attention from their parents. Parents, who always ready to help their youngster, have much time to do some activities together with their family such as playing, sharing, and studying, and it give many benefit for built familiarity for all familiy’s members. For example, a daughter confuse to finish her homework, and in that time she could ask directly her mother to help her. Besides they could crack jokes and built feel rely on each other. However, it make toddlers become spoiled person because they always get help easily while they face a problem, and they would shock and easy to give up while they show the real problem in their life. This would be the real suffer in their life if they have not helping from people in around them.
To sum up, children in the past and the present have suffer in their life in different ways, and they would feel happy if they obtain to put the good position in their life.
Sentence: Different with juveniles in the past, who receive more attention from their parents.
Description: The fragment Different with is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace Different with adverb
Description: The fragment who receive more is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace receive with verb, past tense
Sentence: Therefore, it could make children to be independent individual because they usual to do anything by themselves without helped by their parents.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to they and usual
Sentence: Parents, who always ready to help their youngster, have much time to do some activities together with their family such as playing, sharing, and studying, and it give many benefit for built familiarity for all familiy's members.
Description: The fragment it give many is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace give with verb, past tense
Sentence: For example, a daughter confuse to finish her homework, and in that time she could ask directly her mother to help her.
Description: The fragment daughter confuse to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace confuse with verb, past tense
Sentence: Besides they could crack jokes and built feel rely on each other.
Description: A verb, past participle is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to built and feel
Sentence: However, it make toddlers become spoiled person because they always get help easily while they face a problem, and they would shock and easy to give up while they show the real problem in their life.
Description: The fragment it make toddlers is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace make with verb, past tense
Sentence: To sum up, children in the past and the present have suffer in their life in different ways, and they would feel happy if they obtain to put the good position in their life.
Description: A verb 'to have', uninflected present tense, infinitive or is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to have and suffer
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
Sentences need to be polished.
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 365 350
No. of Characters: 1688 1500
No. of Different Words: 184 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.371 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.625 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.155 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 108 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 78 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 43 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.984 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.344 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.522 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.107 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5