Most countries develop their economies to improve living standards. Some people afraid that it will cause degradation of important social values. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Economic improvement boost country’s growth in all sectors. It eradicates unemployment, poverty, homelessness, child labor and so on. Though it has advantage some people believe that it will diminish vital social values.
Due to high standard education and professional people relationship are reduced. Competition and passion to earn more money make people to work for more hours which result in isolation of social contacts and even condense family relation. For example, Information Technology professional who working for more hours to meet his deadlines in his project loses his family members at dinner and arrive late at late night which effects the family relation. People become selfish and will not share or care others. Due to sedentary lifestyle people become obese and faces many health risks.
Development in economy attracts more foreign investors to invest and open branch in the country and creates more job opportunity. Attracts overseas skilled professionals to get high pay. Provides high class education which intrigue foreign students. In addition, it enables scientific research discoveries into desirable products and medicines. Exporting and importing goods improves the economy and provides foreign goods at cheaper prices. Increase in industry an factories provide high quality good and products. High tech transport facilities and infrastructure alleviate fast arrival and disposal of goods with in the country.
To conclude, by analyzing both the view, I deduce that economic benefits like high standard life, high pay job is pivotal and also people have to maintain and improve social values and compassionate to the society.
Comments
Sentence: For example,
Sentence: For example, Information Technology professional who working for more hours to meet his deadlines in his project loses his family members at dinner and arrive late at late night which effects the family relation.
Description: A WH-pronoun, nominative is not usually followed by a verb, present participle or gerund
Suggestion: Refer to who and working
flaws:
No. of Words: 251 350 (more words wanted)
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.051 0.07 (Try to focus on one thing and argue. If you put a lot of things in one paragraph, the Sentence-Sentence Coherence will be low)
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 251 350
No. of Characters: 1378 1500
No. of Different Words: 168 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.98 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.49 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.739 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 117 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 90 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.688 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.637 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.25 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.296 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.509 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.051 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Hi Dev,
Due to high standard education and professional people relationship are reduced. --> The meaning is not clear enough in this.
I hope it should be like this --> due to high standard of education and professions, people's relationships are highly disappeared.
For example, Information Technology professional who working for more hours --> professional who is working
Development in economy attracts more foreign investors to invest and open branch in the country and creates more job opportunity. Attracts overseas skilled professionals to get high pay.
I feel the above line is not effective enough. As per my knowledge it could be like this. Correct me if I am wrong
Economical development of a country, attracts foregin investments in global market. As a result, much more new job opportunities in the host nation, highly skilled professionals are more valued by foreign companies and leverage the people's standard living as a whole.