As most people spend a major part of their life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing.What factors contribute to job satisfaction?How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

Essay topics:

As most people spend a major part of their life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing.
What factors contribute to job satisfaction?
How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

Job satisfaction is a complex definition which is determined by various fundamental factors, resulting in the ultimate possible progress of the company. Most adults start working immediately after graduating from school, considering themselves to get involved in the development of their society, making money and more importantly, being independent . Regarding that, they look for a job that has more privileges for employees.

To commence with, job fulfillment consists of several factors that have been united together in a way that even elimination of one of them would result in the lack of job satisfaction. Money, for instance, is the first incentive issue for applying a job. In particular, as young people are at their very initiate steps of indepencey and improvement, they pay too much attention to the salary they earn. Furthermore, they need job security. This is a supportive issue that conducts employees to rely on their jobs for a long period until they get locked and loaded. Accordingly, adult employees will use their full potential capabilities in their career.

Secondly, a comprehensive and integrated management plays an important role in preparing a pleasant ground for subordinates. A company head should create a friendly working environment. Therefore, subordinates feel free to share their opinions and ideas to improve the company. However, general manager should build new opportunities for workers so they can be promoted in their job career.

In conclusion, job satisfaction is an effective element for individual’s work efficiency. There are also various issues such as: high income, job security, progressing environment, etc. that companies’ heads should care for, so as to fulfill subordinates’ expectations. Finally, if this system gets performed well, corporations will benefit from its positive impacts in their near future.

Votes
Average: 7.5 (2 votes)
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Comments

Sentence: In particular, as young people are at their very initiate steps of indepencey and improvement, they pay too much attention to the salary they earn.
Error: indepencey Suggestion: ?

flaws:
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.044 0.07

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 285 350
No. of Characters: 1535 1500
No. of Different Words: 186 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.109 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.386 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.04 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 114 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 71 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.812 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.204 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.688 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.296 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.505 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.044 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5

can I ask apart from that grammatical error, what factors contributed to lose my score?
I mean besides these numeric measurements, for example if my introduction was not relevant or my body text was no well developed...? please
I need to have a clue on my weak parts to practice on it more

You will need to check out the flaws your have:
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.044 0.07

Basically, it means you have different ideas among sentences (It doesn't mean the body text was not well developed). You will need to focus on one thing in one paragraph.

This is the 'pattern' we suggested to have better Coherence:

Para 1: introduction.

Para 2:First,reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples (around 2 sentences) + small conclusions(1-2 sentences).

Para 3:Second,reason 2 ,blabla... do the same thing like First

Para 4:Third, reason 3 blabla... do the same thing like First but shorter

Para 5: Conclusion.

Read this link about Coherence:
http://www.testbig.com/question/coherence

No. of Words: 285 350 means you may put more contents for higher marks.

Read a real story:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/some-people-prefer-spend-their-live…

Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.109 4.7 --- This is a very important attribute for us to judge the essay marks. It means how you manage the language. You can check out online what is 'Fourth Root of Number of Words'.

Let us know if you have more questions.