Nowadays, a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think there are a lot of negative effects on children and we should ban it. To what extent you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think there are a lot of negative effects on children and we should ban it. To what extent you agree or disagree?

Capitalist has found new ways to improve their profits by using advertisement. Moreover, they choose children as their market target and influence them by advertisement.

Based on Karl Marx theory, capitalist can use anyways to improve their profits. They do not compete with the others by producing the products only, but also by advertising it, the more they advertise the more profits they get. This becomes a big problem since they use children as their advertisement target. Capitalist believes that children are the best target to sell their products. Most products such as foods, snacks, toys, and milk are common to children, and those are the basic needs for them. This can be described by Sigmund Freud theory; children are the phase when Id is the source of all physic energy. It can be called as biological needs, such as hunger and thirst. That is the reason why capitalist choose the children as their market targets to sell their products that most of them are the basic need products. As they advertise it frequently to children, it can affect the unconscious mind of children to fulfill their desires by consuming those products.

Regarding on the reason above, children just become a victim of advertisement by capitalist. Since they can attack unconscious mind of children, the personality development of theirs will follow what capitalist want to. Children will believe that a strong man is a smoker, a beautiful woman is a girl who uses high price cosmetics, and to become good children they should consume certain milk. Sometimes capitalist bring along the moral message to their advertisement however it is nonsense since their main goals are to sell products.

Therefore, I agree that advertisement should be banned because it just capitalist tool to sell their products and children just become a victim of it.

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Average: 7.7 (3 votes)
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Sentence: That is the reason why capitalist choose the children as their market targets to sell their products that most of them are the basic need products.
Description: The fragment capitalist choose the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace choose with verb, past tense

Sentence: Sometimes capitalist bring along the moral message to their advertisement however it is nonsense since their main goals are to sell products.
Description: The fragment Sometimes capitalist is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace Sometimes with adjective

flaws:
No. of Different Words: 148 200

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 303 350
No. of Characters: 1498 1500
No. of Different Words: 148 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.172 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.944 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.661 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 109 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 75 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 56 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.938 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.077 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.438 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.37 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.527 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.111 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5